I have not had a good morning. I am in a bad mood and have the chocolate bars to prove it. Maybe this is why I am so annoyed with a certain friend of mine.
Don't get me wrong, I have a great deal of sympathy for her plight - she has serious money worries after the sudden loss of her shiny new job.
Where she really lost me was here: "I'm too young to be worrying about my rent and paying my bills."
Oh. Em. Gee.
How old do you need to be to take responsibility for your life? Legally speaking I guess here in the UK the answer is 18, although plenty of people have to step up and take on responsibilities WAY earlier. Too young?! You are 21, dearie - welcome to adulthood already!
At 21 I was a single mum of two. I was already long-term unemployed and struggling to feed and clothe my kids - quite aside from the day-to-day terror over bills - on the dole. I had been homeless. I had known real hardship. Things were not set to improve for a very long time.
Not a stellar example of taking responsibility you may think, but I disagree. I may not have done well for myself, I may not have been financially independent (I'm still not) but I took on my responsibilities when others might shirk. If I'd had family or friends to help ease the burden I dare say I would have done - who doesn't make their life easier any way they can??? I wouldn't have chosen that path, I sure as hell didn't want it. It made me livid that my ex could walk away and not even have to pay child support whilst I had to bear it all - including the narrow-minded ignorant judgements of others.
Being a teenage mum is NOT an easy option. Being a single mum is NOT an easy option. It's physically and emotionally exhausting, the stress levels are unbelievable. You try feeding a family of 3 on £10 or less per week after bills!!! Try getting a job with no references and no experience this century!
I'm now 34 and only just getting back on track. I am finally working. I am finally in credit with the bank. I am finally studying for a degree. The long term effects are horrifying and yet people still add to your stress by labelling you as a lazy scrounger.
My friend has an employment history and references; she is responsible for no one but herself. She's in a way better position than I am and she thinks she's too YOUNG to face a challenge like this??? Challenges are good; they are character building, they offer new opportunities. Challenges are a normal, and essential part of life. Strength is forged in adversity.
It also really makes me think about how I'm raising my kids. More than once of late I've said to my eldest - now 16 - "when I was your age blah blah blah and you have no idea how easy you've got it!" Would my kids step up? Would my kids still expect to be looked after?
