The Same But Different

I am very much enjoying my My Chemical Romance obsession and I'm still getting nowhere fast with my Latin so in some respects not a lot has changed in the past four weeks since my last post.
In other respects it feels like an awful lot has changed.  I've had possibly hopefully one of the most bizarre events of my life - in the form of being invited to the opening of the Museum of Somerset by HRH The Earl Of Wessex (Prince Edward) on October 15th...I'd already volunteered to help out with the preparation so they didn't have to invite me!  Have to admit I was a nervous wreck but fortunately I didn't meet him or I'd have managed to embarrass myself somehow.  I'm weird, I know but whilst being a cleaner frequently sucketh verily I really like it at the museum - such nice people, shiny new interiors that are easy (ish) to stay on top of.  Going in as a volunteer is cool too cos the pressure is off: I got to do 2 1/2 hours of stuff that needed doing rather than the usual routine.  Also, being off duty I could blast MCR on my MP3 to my heart's content!

Prince Edward seems like a really nice bloke - very personable, I think the word is, good sense of humour and WAY better looking in person.
The other major event was last week when I embraced my inner uberbitch and ended a long-standing friendship.  Most of the time friends come and go but what do you do when they don't GO?  I probably handled it really badly but I got to the end of my rope.  Naturally I shan't go into details but suffice it to say that I felt I had no choice.  I feel like sometimes you can be a worse person for being nice; I needed to distance myself from someone who made me feel like I was a really bad person - I felt such a fake friend as I secretly seethed about the things she'd say.
Whilst I'm still 'feeling off' from that it's mostly a huge relief.  Strangely it's even helped me feel better about myself.  I have been a single mum for 14 years, working for over 2 1/2 years now, I'm studying...where I'm at kind of sucks but it's not like I'm sitting on my backside, doing nothing for myself and expecting the universe to sort it all out for me!  I feel empowered by freeing myself from someone who made me feel inadequate.

My Acronym Romance

I've been a BH (Blockhead), i.e. a NKOTB (New Kids On The Block) fan, since 1990.  Naturally I've listened to a lot of other music over the years and liked a lot of other bands, NKOTB aren't even representative of what I like.  I have an eclectic a bizarre taste in music...I think nothing of loading up my MP3 with everything from Matt Monro to Metallica, Hula to Classical.

But I have never experienced anything like the last fortnight.

I've liked songs and played them over and over.  I've had songs stuck in my head for days at a time.  But I've never had THIS.  For the last fortnight I've woken up with an MCR (My Chemical Romance) song stuck in my head - a different track every day and sometimes it'll change to another song after a few hours - blasting full volume!

Admittedly I love it but even "Helena" will drive you BSC (Bat-Shit Crazy) when it's on loop in your head for 5+ hours.  This last week I'm supposed to have been studying A297 (Reading Classical Latin) for my OU (Open University) studies.  I tell you, I've spent way more time studying MCR instead...

I bought the 2007 single "Teenagers", I'd seen several other videos but I somehow never got into MCR back then.  My daughters came across them quite recently and, on September 20th my youngest got me to watch the video for "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" on YouTube...and it was that simple.  Addicted.  My name is Heggie and I have an MCR addiction.

MCR get described as an Emo band a lot, which they dislike cos (a) who wants to be labelled as anything and (b) Emo has some nasty-ass negative connotations but this has been a crazy emotional fortnight for me.  I've been reading up on 11 years of the band's history, their highs and lows and it's been pretty intense.  For example, I found a story from 2008 where a British coroner blamed a 13 year old girl's suicide on her "obsession" with MCR, calling it a suicide cult band.  For a seriously screwy story from four years ago I am flippin' furious!

1. No one commits suicide because of music...unless they're really, really dumb.
2. The CDs all come with parental advisory stickers; it may not be easy to control what your kids listen to but if I were worried I'd confiscate it all!
3. Did the coroner know anything about MCR?  If he only looked at the lyrics he'd get a pretty warped idea of what it was about (e.g. "Dead!" has the lines: Wouldn't it be great to take a pistol by the hand / and wouldn't it be great if we were dead.  The song itself however is IRONIC, it's UPBEAT and it is FUNNY.  I want it played at my funeral!)

I think it's especially nasty as lead singer Gerard Way has had some pretty bad problems with depression and addiction, he credits MCR with saving his life and he wants to help kids...and it would be daft to encourage  your fans to kill themselves - not a good way to sell records or concert tickets!!!

Then there's all the Danger Days crap.  Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (2010) is MCR's 4th studio album and, until Conventional Weapons comes out any day now, their most recent.  Unfortunately a lot of fans have a problem with it for sounding too different and too 'poppy' which I think is just nuts!  I mean NKOTB have been around since 1984* and if you're still making the same songs nearly 30 years later what's the point?  What have you achieved, how have you developed?  People don't (generally) stay the same all their lives; they grow and change and mature.  Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004) is where they were then as twenty-somethings; Danger Days is where they are as thirty-somethings, all married and two have kids.  You'd think the fans would grow up and change too.

* - Final line-up 1985; 1st single and album 1986

But mostly it's a lot of fun.  I am so glad I recently got unlimited Broadband or this would be costing me a fortune...not that it isn't, buying an established band's entire back catalogue takes a while when you're on a tight budget even if HMV (His Master's Voice...but no one's called it that in a gazillion years) had anything in stock (grrrrr!).

Reaching the Age of Responsibility

I have not had a good morning.  I am in a bad mood and have the chocolate bars to prove it.  Maybe this is why I am so annoyed with a certain friend of mine.
Don't get me wrong, I have a great deal of sympathy for her plight - she has serious money worries after the sudden loss of her shiny new job.
Where she really lost me was here: "I'm too young to be worrying about my rent and paying my bills."
Oh.  Em.  Gee.
How old do you need to be to take responsibility for your life?  Legally speaking I guess here in the UK the answer is 18, although plenty of people have to step up and take on responsibilities WAY earlier.  Too young?!  You are 21, dearie - welcome to adulthood already!
At 21 I was a single mum of two.  I was already long-term unemployed and struggling to feed and clothe my kids - quite aside from the day-to-day terror over bills - on the dole.  I had been homeless.  I had known real hardship.  Things were not set to improve for a very long time.
Not a stellar example of taking responsibility you may think, but I disagree.  I may not have done well for myself, I may not have been financially independent (I'm still not) but I took on my responsibilities when others might shirk.    If I'd had family or friends to help ease the burden I dare say I would have done - who doesn't make their life easier any way they can???  I wouldn't have chosen that path, I sure as hell didn't want it.  It made me livid that my ex could walk away and not even have to pay child support whilst I had to bear it all - including the narrow-minded ignorant judgements of others.
Being a teenage mum is NOT an easy option.  Being a single mum is NOT an easy option.  It's physically and emotionally exhausting, the stress levels are unbelievable.  You try feeding a family of 3 on £10 or less per week after bills!!!  Try getting a job with no references and no experience this century!
I'm now 34 and only just getting back on track.  I am finally working.  I am finally in credit with the bank.  I am finally studying for a degree.  The long term effects are horrifying and yet people still add to your stress by labelling you as a lazy scrounger.
My friend has an employment history and references; she is responsible for no one but herself.  She's in a way better position than I am and she thinks she's too YOUNG to face a challenge like this???  Challenges are good; they are character building, they offer new opportunities.  Challenges are a normal, and essential part of life.  Strength is forged in adversity.
It also really makes me think about how I'm raising my kids.  More than once of late I've said to my eldest - now 16 - "when I was your age blah blah blah and you have no idea how easy you've got it!"  Would my kids step up?  Would my kids still expect to be looked after?

Things That Make You Go RRRRARRRRGGGH!!!!

Everyone has things that drive them nuts.  But I do think that TV advertisements have to be one of the most irritating things in the known universe.  Think about it - when was the last time you saw an ad that told you just what you needed to know about the product / service?  When have you actually gone out deliberately to buy something because you saw it on telly?  And yet, in comparison, how many ads have you seen THIS WEEK?

My grandfather was a proof reader with a printing company and raised my mother to be pernickety exacting about spelling, punctuation, grammar etc.  Not a week passed that she won't text or email the latest offence to the English language she's spotted...nine times out of ten it's an advertisement.  Half the time I still don't get it even when it's pointed out to me.

But the one that just got right up my nose today was a Save The Children campaign ad.  "No child born to die"...um, do I need to explain the concept of mortality here?  Everyone is born to die, everyone will die.  Sad but an essential fact of life.  "22,000 children die every day"...again, sad.  But that's all.  Accompanied by images of children living and dying in appalling conditions (apparently in Africa) I have several thoughts on this one...

1) What would happen if they DIDN'T???  Did anyone see Torchwood: Miracle Day?  Sci-fi series exploring the not-so-great concept of immortality.  22,000 children NOT dying each day for one year alone is over 8 million extra people to sustain.  If these dying children's countries / communities cannot sustain them today, how will they sustain them tomorrow, or in a year, or in another decade?

2) Why are they dying?  We're not talking about a famine as such or a natural disaster.  We're talking about an ongoing situation partly due to poverty but partly due to a massive over population of a region that is not overly hospitable to start with.

3) Why is the place so massively over populated if 22,000 children are dying daily?  The birth rate has got to be phenomenal!  Get the birth rate down and what would happen?  The land could sustain the population far better, the water supply would be less stretched and they'd probably be able to afford the basics of health care too!  So is this what Save The Children are trying to do - to educate people, provide birth control, help them to form a sustainable population?  No, of course not.  It's all "let's throw money at the situation cos money fixes everything" - hence the RRRRARRRRGGGH!!!!

Fix the cause, not the symptom.

Mid Term Update

So...I started studying with the Open University earlier this year.  The late start AA100 course (The Arts Past and Present) runs February to September making this pretty much the mid-way point.
It's certainly proving to be a challenge but I think I'm doing pretty well so far.  I've done four out of seven TMAs (Tutor Marked Assignments) with the scores - 67%, 80%, 83% and 82%.  In fact I'm well on my way to passing the course.  I've enrolled to take A297 (Latin) and A251 (Archaeology) in the next academic year.
The friend who got me studying with the OU has sadly dropped out after being diagnosed as severely dyslexic.  It was a blow to her but thanks to the OU she now has a diagnosis.  Although it is perfectly possible for someone with Dyslexia to study at University level, she felt she couldn't continue at this time - who knows, maybe once she's learned to manage the condition she can try again?  Mind you, she wants to be a children's author and six years of study with little opportunity to write wasn't perhaps what she really wanted after all.
For a while there I felt really guilty.  She'd inspired me to study, I'd been a copycat and got my paperwork within 24 hours of her!  And, just for a while, I felt as if I'd stolen her dream.
But I didn't take this on to be a copycat, to try to keep up or go one better.  I'd never really imagined going to Uni, mostly because I never believed it could happen, but I desperately wanted to improve my life.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job and it's not that bad - but I have to get something full time in a couple of years or so...right now my options are really limited.  I really hope studying will help.  If nothing else it's making me feel better about myself and my situation.

No Smoke Without Fire

Before I start I just want to say a few things. I am not a smoker. No one in my family is a smoker. Nor is any of us employed in the tobacco industry or otherwise affected by it.

This morning on BBC News, just before 7:30, a pro-smoking campaigner was speaking out against a new anti-smoking television advertisement and surprisingly I agreed with him whole heartedly.

The advertisement in question shows smoke creeping throughout a house and wreathing around a child - the point being to not smoke around children. Well, obviously I agree with the sentiment, as indeed did the pro-smoking campaigner, but he made several really important points:

Asthma in children has increased whilst smoking rates are decreasing. Blaming smokers for their children's health problems is not necessarily justified. Plenty of children of non-smokers suffer asthma and other illnesses "associated with smoking".

The same advert could have been made for any other pollutant - such as dustmites or the chemicals that impregnate our carpets, sofas etc. The interviewer's come back was that those pollutants are unavoidable. This is simply not true. Admittedly the alternatives can prove impractical and expensive - hard floors, washable rugs, alternative furniture and air-conditioning units are all potential solutions only really worth considering if someone in your home has a severe allergy.

The 50s and 60s babyboomers were a generation largely raised in smoky homes and yet people are living longer and healthier lives. No one is suggesting smoke is good for you but can it really be as dangerous as it's made out? I was raised in a smoke free home and yet I am asthmatic; I know people who were raised by chain smokers who are perfectly healthy. Hardly conclusive but certainly suggestive.

But the most important point is this; how far are the Government going to go in dictating people's actions in their own homes? We've already had cases of parents being prosecuted for allowing their children (subsequently taken into care) to become obese and yet strangely drug addicts seem to regularly retain custody of their offspring.

In my OU course I've recently been looking at the Communist dictatorships of Russia (via Stalin) and China (via His Holiness The Dalai Lama) and I can certainly see a parallel between those dictatorships and the increasing interference of the state in our supposed democracy. How much more control does the Government want over what people choose to do in the privacy of their own homes? Whilst I don't think parents should smoke around their kids should having children mean you no longer have freedom of choice? Perhaps children should be offered freedom of choice - and be able to leave smoky homes...or neglectful homes, drunken homes, homes with parents who fight all the time? Why is it that a child can't get away from any number of bad - but not criminally so - situations until they are at least 16 years old?

Cookie Cutter Culture

This week I read a very disturbing article about Cookie Cutter Culture (hereafter refered to as CCC) - by which I mean the one-size-fits-all approach adopted through so many aspects of life.

The article dealt with complaints from charities that they are losing many of their best volunteers to the British Government's Welfare-To-Work programme.

"What's wrong with that?!" I hear you cry. "If someone can volunteer they can get a job!"

Well, that's the problem. Welfare-To-Work isn't about employment, it's about crunching numbers and ticking boxes.

From my own experience I know that the staff at the JobCentre aren't interested in helping you, or getting you into worthwhile employment. They're not interested in your qualifications or skills or aptitude. They want you to take any job that means they can tick you off their list, no matter how unsuitable it is. If you're back in a month cos it didn't work out they don't care.

I was stressed out of my mind dealing with the JobCentre. My "advisor" was just a bully to whom I was another worthless dole-scrounger. I had genuine concerns about returning to work which were well founded. Their "help" was non-existent and fortunately I found a job without their interferance...although they still took credit for it!

So back to the point...these charity volunteers are often well educated people, university graduates even. Often they are volunteering to get experience in their chosen sector, waiting for a window of opportunity to allow them to get their foot on the ladder.

The article I refer to drew on cases of such people who, under Welfare-To-Work, were unable to continue volunteering as they were instead made to take degrading classes in 'how to write a CV' or forced to take minimum wage dead-end jobs like shelf-stacking. Who does this help? These people need plenty of additional financial support to make ends meet - it's hardly being off the dole! These people aren't improving their employment prospects, they're not using their potential. Also, these are low IQ jobs that are being denied to genuinely low IQ job seekers!

The Welfare-To-Work programme is based on one very flawed system - not the benefits system itself but CCC. Everyone is expected to fit a certain stereotype and the solution ONLY fits to them. They expect people on benefits to be lazy and ill educated and they have no flexibility for anyone who doesn't fit that criteria.

Imagine being a university graduate who is being ordered to take a class aimed at the barely literate. Being put on a 'work-preparedness' course - whatever that is supposed to mean - which ends in the chaos of a bunch of heavily tattooed ex-cons discussing bank robbery! I kid thee not. It's insane!

CCC is infecting every part of our world. Such as schools that don't encourage bright children but who hold them back - segregated into classes by their age not ability. Such as doctors hounding or criticising patients who don't want to be prodded and poked and tested for the zillion and one things that could be wrong with them but probably aren't, or for refusing to take the "precautionary" meds that have a list of side effects as long as your arm...

Would it really be so difficult to match people to available jobs by aptitude and credentials? Or to offer them the back-to-work help most suited to their needs? Or to move a smart child up a class or two at school? Or to lay off the "patient" who feels fine and doesn't want to see the doctor (and lets face it, if YOU want to see the doctor it's a whole different ball game)?

Personally I shouldn't have thought any of these things would be so very hard.

At the end of the day it is your life and your choices but I beg of you to at least consider, where you come up against CCC COMPLAIN! REBEL! REFUSE TO CONFORM!