Note: If you don't know what I'm on about please Google (or search engine of choice) Fluid Hair Sarah Cameron and you'll soon find out.
Last night I came across a story from Canada that has me well and truly baffled.
To some extent I can see why using an image depicting domestic abuse is inappropriate for advertising a hair salon but I do not understand the total contempt for it, nor the ironically violent attitude of the public toward its creator.
The image depicts a well dressed woman, poised, with immaculate hair and a spectacular black eye, seated on a sofa gazing confidently at the viewer. Behind the sofa stands a man with a diamond necklace in his hands.
The image, given the tag line "look good in all you do", is supposed to represent the strength of women. The woman depicted is emphatically NOT a cowed, battered wife. She is not taking the husband's guilt-gift. She is not looking at him; she has her back to him and seems unafraid. The message is intended to come across as "I am strong, I have more control than HE thinks, HE is behind me...and it'll cost him a damn sight more than a necklace!"
And this is very much how I see it. Why should a battered wife only ever be portrayed as a downtrodden frump living in terror? That may be many women's experience but it not the only experience. Sadly, if this woman went to the police, despite the evidence of the shiner, she might well be disbelieved because she does not fit the "victim" stereotype.
Let's just consider how domestic abuse IS portrayed in the media for a moment...
The victim is almost always a woman, usually young, preferably attractive and innocent of any "provoking" behaviour such as adultery. The perpetrator is almost always a man, usually the husband, often depicted as virtually insane. Rarely are men shown as victims, or women as perpetrators. I don't think I have EVER seen a depiction of a parent being abused by their child or within any relationship other than a couple. Yet these and many other scenarios exist.
Every time domestic abuse is represented on a soap opera there is an outcry. The media is confusingly accused of sensationalising, trivialising and glamourising the issue. People complain because the writers complicate the issue with other issues such as adultery or alcoholism - but it IS a frequently complicated issue! I think people complain because they just don't want to see it... Incidentally, the most accurate soap storyline would be for domestic abuse to be revealed within a long established couple - pointing out that you rarely know it's going on and often has gone unnoticed by friends and family for years!
People are complaining about a domestic abuse image being used to advertise a hair salon. But where do such images belong? There is very little about domestic abuse in the public eye - it takes a controversial soap opera plotline or a real-life murder to get people talking. This sort of image disturbs people, upsets people, provokes debate when used in such a way. If this image was used for a helpline it would hardly be noticed...and therein lies the problem. Not least of all because funding for such helplines and their advertising is hard to come by.
Domestic abuse is too often hidden out of sight and not talked about. Those who claim to have suffered - for example Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson's ex - are often met with disbelief and criticism at making the claim. Victims have few role models. We have celebrities who've battled drink, drugs, impoverished beginnings or child abuse to make something of their lives...but domestic abuse? No one springs to mind.
Attitudes are complex. A man who says, "I am an alcoholic, I need help," is praised for taking the first step. A man who says, "I hit my partner, I need help," is condemned!
We NEED to provoke people into talking, into addressing this issue.
