Cause and Effect

*disclaimer: I am a trifle tipsy - not a good state for blogging*

So I was just tweeting...nowt new there (I'm up to 66,954 tweets) obviously but a certain train of thought came up so here's the extended version.

20 Dec 2012 - I first heard of FVK, looked 'em up though "cute...bet they sound like crap then", looked up Palace in Flames and got hooked good and proper! Started thinking about seeing 'em live...

13 Apr 2013 - 1st FVK gig (which also led to me being currently down 98.5 lbs) which entailed much fuckupery on my part. I had decided to go to Oxford being not so far from Reading where liveth my mother...only I cocked it up cos there were no bleedin' trains.

Dilemma: do I go and have to book a room or do I give up?

Answer: I book a room. Really nervewracking cos I'd never done that before. Even worse as due to misunderstanding of chap with limited English I double booked...but the experience was survived and utterly amazeballs so more gigs were booked and a monster was created ;)

Skip ahead nearly a year. I'd decided I'd quite like to see Fall Out Boy but the London date was un-do-able. "Pity I can't go to Glasgow on my birthday" I thought...followed by the thought WHY CAN'T I??? Yep, went to Glasgow. Booked my 2nd and 3rd hotel rooms AND my first flights in the process.

In April I had a city break in Cardiff. In May I had my first ever solo hotel stay in Birmingham. In August I had a summer holiday I organised myself for the first time ever (at age 36) - flights to and from Belfast, three nights in Belfast, three in Dublin, transfers, Titanic Experience, Guinness Storehouse, museums, expedition to the Giant's Causeway...
Then another city break in Bristol, a night in a hotel in Reading in October, a night in a b&b in London in November...heaven knows where it'll end!!!

And if I hadn't decided to see FVK in Oxford the ball would never got rolling. It's weird how hindsight works...the decisions we make leading to goodness, badness, mediocreness...
But decision making is what it's all about. That's what my 'Espantapajaros' tattoo is all about - not letting fear hold you back, not watching life pass you by. Make a decision, do something, drag yourself (kicking and screaming if necessary) out of that comfort zone. I couldn't have done it without the proper motivation...LOOK for your motivation. Find something you want to do or see, something you will get off your arse for. AND DO IT! You have no idea where it will lead but it's all good. Stop overthinking the 'what ifs'...better to have a drama / trauma than a nothing-at-all.

Okay, I know that at my age I should be over this fan girl thing but without FVK my life would be so different. The weight loss is enough to be a lifesaver but the *confidence* to go places and do stuff is a game changer too. Heaven knows what else they've done for me or where any of it will lead me. All I can say is I thank the Lord I did actually look them up!!!