Graduating

2017 was always going to be a big year. I realised this in 1999 when I realised that my daughters would be turning 21 and 18 a week apart. Later came the academic milestone expectations and a planned relocation. And now I am marking the surviving of all that.

So yeah, in January my kids hit their landmark birthdays. That was all about alcohol not least of all as two of us were also 3rd year uni students:

This summer was all about the move. We got into our new house - Erin on July 3rd, Hennessy on July 28th I think? Kathleen and I on August 7th. (see my YouTube tour 😉). Then came the bizarre graduation season. Erin got her results before me AND she beat me in grades (GIT) but the important thing was...I GRADUATED FIRST!!!

Sorry (not sorry) but I started my uni journey on February 4th 2012 - which is before she even sat her GCSEs!!! - it seemed so unfair that she should get in there first. Anyway, I graduated in Brighton on September 16th. I got a BA (Hons) Humanities with Classical Studies from the Open University.

This is a selfie I took when I first got into the auditorium cos the chance to get a full family photo was too good to miss. Behind me L-R: Neville (my stepdad), Janet (my mum), Owen (my dad), Kathleen (my youngest), Erin (my eldest). The people behind are not mine.

I really tried to get my hair dark green (think Dre Ronayne or Kiera Rose) but once again I got a mess of blue-green. What was bizarre was I wasn't the only one!!! Not even two but three of us at the same ceremony. There weren't any others though - no just green or just blue, no sunshine yellow, pillar box red, purple or pink. Just three blue-green haired graduates out of about 400. Author, actress and former CBeebies presenter Cerrie Burnell was awarded an honorary degree at the same ceremony.

Erin got her turn on October 18th. She got a BA (Hons) Criminology and Sociology from Winchester University:

Only Kathleen and I could attend her ceremony but my dad, mum and Neville all watched the live broadcast via YouTube. Naturally I had to do some comparisons of our gowns:

Don't we look smart??? During the midst of all this Kathleen left to start her own university journey. She's moved to Wales (hope she doesn't get eaten by the dragons!) and will be gone FOUR YEARS!

So now my household is myself, Erin and Hennessy - Erin and I both have new jobs and we're trying to figure out how to live...it's the first time off welfare in my life and I am only working part time but I desperately need the experience. Hopefully, eventually, my degree will pay off. In the meantime at least I am not cleaning loos anymore! Going up in the world lol.

Celebrating

I just caught a YouTube video that reminded me of a story I heard at work - told to me by a co-worker. One of the joys of retail is dealing with customers' strange expectations, this one struck me as strange at first but this video made me realise it's really not and needs to be acknowledged.

A lady came in looking for a very specific card. It was a major wedding anniversary but it was not to give to a couple, parents or a spouse (all available), it was for herself. She wanted to mark her anniversary when no one else would because she had been widowed some time before. Death did not negate her love, her marriage, her wanting to mark the milestone. We didn't have a card for that. 

And she should mark / celebrate the occasion imho. We all should mark / celebrate whatever milestones and anniversaries that are meaningful to us, positive and negative.

I don't think forgetting a wedding anniversary should be a catastrophic thing. Marriages are every day weddings are a one time deal...I know which I think is more important. Honouring your marriage EVERY DAY is more important than an annual thing the way I see it. If you don't want to mark your birthdays that's cool too (I have that line from the Twilight Saga running through my head about Bella, aged all of 18, not wanting to celebrate her ageing...just wait until you're pushing forty grumbles the old lady). It's all about CHOICE. Celebrate / don't celebrate. Mourn / don't mourn. Commemorate / don't commemorate. Choose how to honour your experiences and how to continue your life.

The YouTube video I mentioned was about an approaching first wedding anniversary after the death of a husband but it makes me think of other videos and comments I have seen - like ridiculing loss parents for marking their 'angelversaries' - the anniversary of the loss of their child. Excuse you, internet trolls, what is it to you if or how people mark that day? Do you honestly think anniversaries like that can or should be ignored or forgotten?! For me it has been 23 years but I still think of Jake every 27th July; which is not to say I don't think of him at other times. Nor do I make an EFFORT to remember, it just happens. If should an anniversary pass and I forget that's okay too but you can't force it. Time doesn't heal exactly, but it does change things.

On a different note: when I was dieting I marked EVERY milestone I could think of. Every half stone, every 5lb increment every 5% off my start weight. Multiplying the milestones makes the goal seem more attainable. Same, I think, with addicts taking it one day at a time. Each day is its own achievement. And my god, it you WANT to buy a 'Well Done' card or a helium balloon or a bunch of flowers to celebrate then just DO IT!!! For your parent, child, sibling, partner...or yourself.

I don't think we celebrate OURSELVES as much as we should. It's seen as prideful or selfish but you know what? A lot of us have low self esteem. A lot of us don't have families who celebrate us or our achievements. So yeah, celebrate yourself, love yourself.