Celebrating

I just caught a YouTube video that reminded me of a story I heard at work - told to me by a co-worker. One of the joys of retail is dealing with customers' strange expectations, this one struck me as strange at first but this video made me realise it's really not and needs to be acknowledged.

A lady came in looking for a very specific card. It was a major wedding anniversary but it was not to give to a couple, parents or a spouse (all available), it was for herself. She wanted to mark her anniversary when no one else would because she had been widowed some time before. Death did not negate her love, her marriage, her wanting to mark the milestone. We didn't have a card for that. 

And she should mark / celebrate the occasion imho. We all should mark / celebrate whatever milestones and anniversaries that are meaningful to us, positive and negative.

I don't think forgetting a wedding anniversary should be a catastrophic thing. Marriages are every day weddings are a one time deal...I know which I think is more important. Honouring your marriage EVERY DAY is more important than an annual thing the way I see it. If you don't want to mark your birthdays that's cool too (I have that line from the Twilight Saga running through my head about Bella, aged all of 18, not wanting to celebrate her ageing...just wait until you're pushing forty grumbles the old lady). It's all about CHOICE. Celebrate / don't celebrate. Mourn / don't mourn. Commemorate / don't commemorate. Choose how to honour your experiences and how to continue your life.

The YouTube video I mentioned was about an approaching first wedding anniversary after the death of a husband but it makes me think of other videos and comments I have seen - like ridiculing loss parents for marking their 'angelversaries' - the anniversary of the loss of their child. Excuse you, internet trolls, what is it to you if or how people mark that day? Do you honestly think anniversaries like that can or should be ignored or forgotten?! For me it has been 23 years but I still think of Jake every 27th July; which is not to say I don't think of him at other times. Nor do I make an EFFORT to remember, it just happens. If should an anniversary pass and I forget that's okay too but you can't force it. Time doesn't heal exactly, but it does change things.

On a different note: when I was dieting I marked EVERY milestone I could think of. Every half stone, every 5lb increment every 5% off my start weight. Multiplying the milestones makes the goal seem more attainable. Same, I think, with addicts taking it one day at a time. Each day is its own achievement. And my god, it you WANT to buy a 'Well Done' card or a helium balloon or a bunch of flowers to celebrate then just DO IT!!! For your parent, child, sibling, partner...or yourself.

I don't think we celebrate OURSELVES as much as we should. It's seen as prideful or selfish but you know what? A lot of us have low self esteem. A lot of us don't have families who celebrate us or our achievements. So yeah, celebrate yourself, love yourself.