A Slightly Awkward Victim Tribute

THIS BLOG INCLUDES PERSONAL SPECULATION ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE DEAD OR INVOLVED IN ONGOING PROSECUTIONS. THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY.

Towards one of my The Conqueror Challenges I have set myself the task of cycling a kilometre for every year of age of Lori Vallow Daybell's victims. This is, in part, because I abandoned my challenge to follow her first trial* - if you will excuse the term - religiously. I have been following the case since early 2020 when the kids were still missing and I will continue to do so for Chad's trial, Lori's trial for the murder of Charles Vallow, and any related proceedings that should arise. I have never been so emotionally invested in a court case my whole life.

* Lori Vallow Daybell's trial for conspiracy to murder Tylee Ryan, JJ Vallow, and Tammy Daybell ran from 3rd April to 12th May 2023. I have a file containing multiple family trees, timelines, over 100 pages of notes of salient points from Nate Eaton of East Idaho News live tweeting the case.

When the guilty verdicts came in my internet glitched so I was standing out in the street using my phone data instead... and I F*CKING HOWLED in sheer relief. Especially on the counts relating to Tylee cos I feared there wasn't enough evidence in her case. I am a big believer in innocent until proven guilty but Lori Vallow Daybell is my one (1) exception. No way in hell can an innocent woman go off to get married with no idea or care where her two minor children are, especially when they later show up buried in her new husband's yard. I can usually imagine at least one alternative scenario, no matter how far-fetched, but there's nothing; and Lori didn't even offer a defence.

So that's what led me to where I am now... cycling a tribute to each of her victims. But the reason for this blog entry is the slightly awkward reasoning involved in a few of the tributes.

1) Joseph Anthony "Joe" Ryan Jr, 1958-2018 (59)

3rd husband of Lori, biological father of Tylee.
This is the first slightly dubious tribute. Officially he died of natural causes but there's plenty I find suspicious, including that his ex wife whom he was on particularly bad terms with was his next of kin, dealt with his death and was particularly slow in informing his family (see also Charles).
Then there's the suggestive history... Lori's brother (see also Alex) had served a short sentence for assaulting and threatening Joe. It's also worth noting that the benefits Tylee received from her father's death was part of the motive for her murder.
Joe had been accused of child molestation by Lori, her son from her second marriage - Colby, and his own daughter Tylee. Now, I'm NOT calling Colby a liar but the authorities believed Lori had coached her kids - I feel it's possible he has false memories she planted and / or he was molested by someone else (my money would be on Alex). The thing is, having made these allegations Lori refused to co-operate with the investigation whereas Joe co-operated fully. Child abuse isn't taken lightly so it's an unusual conclusion for the authorities to reach, and Lori's refusal to push for a prosecution is just plain weird to me. Also, making claims that her exes were abusive is part of a pattern with Lori so I take it with a pinch of salt.

2) Leland Anthony "Charles" Vallow, 1956-2019 (62)

4th husband of Lori, adoptive father of JJ.
Charles was, by all accounts, a great dad. But he'd started reaching out for help claiming Lori was a danger to the kids... and he ended up dead. Shot by Alex (see below) in alleged self defence. Tylee spoke well on the police interview tapes - she was an intelligent and articulate young lady - but do I believe she could have been biased towards her mother and uncle? Hell yes. Do I believe she reported what she *believed* happened that morning? Also, perfectly plausible.
The trial for his murder is yet to take place but so far everything points to Charles being at risk from Lori, rather than the reverse. Also, after his death Lori heartlessly informed his sons from a prior marriage of their father's death by TEXT.
Just as Tylee was killed, in part, for the money she received from Joe's death so was JJ killed, in part, for the money he received from Charles' death.

3) Tylee Ashlyn Ryan, 2002-2019 (16*)

Biological daughter of Lori and Joe.
Tylee's death is the one that hits me in the feels most. In part it's because so much attention went to JJ - if JJs biological grandparents hadn't raised the alarm over his whereabouts would have even realised Tylee had also disappeared? It would have been so easy to say Tylee had left home, gone to uni, decided to go NC with the family... 
It is unknown how exactly Tylee died but what was done to her body after death is vile beyond description. She was not killed and buried like the little brother she adored, she was annihilated. The wounds found on what was left of her pelvis are highly suggestive to me; I suspect she suffered a lot more than anyone knows before she died. Her remains were dismembered, partially burned and buried on Chad Daybell's property.

*Although she was likely 16 when she died Tylee is often listed as 17 due to her birthday falling after the last time she was seen alive and long before her remains were discovered. I am doing 17km accordingly.

4) Joshua Jaxon "JJ" Vallow, ne Canaan Todd Trahan, 2012-2019 (7)

Adoptive son of Lori and Charles; biological son of Todd Trahan (Charles' nephew) and Mandy Leger.
JJ was described as a sweet, loving kid. He had been born prematurely to bio parents with addiction issues and had autism. Lori registered him as homeschooled and got rid of his service dog shortly before he was last seen alive.
He was asphyxiated with a plastic bag and duct tape, and buried in the yard of Chad Daybell. His body was not desecrated the way Tylee's was.

5) Tamara Michelle "Tammy" Daybell, nee Douglas, 1970-2019 (49)

Wife of Chad, whose death cleared the way for him to marry Lori only days later.
Tammy is described as a wonderful, intelligent woman who loved children and animals; she was the mother of five. Divorce was supposedly not an option for Chad because of his 'spiritual standing'.
Days before she died she was shot at and believed it was a teenager pranking her with a paintball gun... it was almost certainly Alex with a very real and deadly weapon. Tammy died of supposed natural causes - later an exhumation and autopsy found she died by asphyxiation.

6) Alexander Lamar "Alex" Pastenes, ne Cox, 1968-2019 (51)

Brother of Lori.

I have listed him as Alex Pastenes as this was his legal name at death - he is 'Alex Cox' in almost all accounts, inc. Lori's trial.

Definitely the most controversial inclusion on this list as he was certainly responsible for Charles' death and heavily implicated in Tylee and JJ's. He had previously assaulted Joe, shot at Tammy AND shot at a survivor - Brandon Boudreaux, estranged-and-now-ex husband of Lori's niece Melani. He supposedly died of natural causes like Joe.
HOWEVER, his death was entirely too 'convenient' and it bore marked similarities to Tammy's death - which was also initially ruled as natural. 
There is no doubt in my mind he was murdered, possibly because Lori (& Chad?) thought it would all get blamed on him and they'd get away with it but certainly because he knew too much.
It is a 'pity' he was killed because he for sure knew and could have answered a lot of the questions Lori (& Chad?) almost certainly never will. He also should have faced justice for his involvement. I don't like to call him a 'victim' but I believe it likely he was used and I believe that he was killed. That isn't right, whatever he did. I find it uncomfortable to include him but maybe I can think of his kilometres as being additional tribute for the kids - it doesn't seem right that they should get so few kilometres when they were robbed of so many years.
Alex is described as a funny guy, emotionally immature following a brain injury in his teens, and exceedingly devoted to Lori.  Lori gives me Cersei Lannister vibes and I have suspicions that she manipulated Alex just as the fictional Cersei manipulated her brother Jaime; the siblings are described as having had a peculiar, over intimate relationship. It's also worth noting that none of the deaths benefited him directly - they were all for Lori.

7) Mandy Nicole Leger, 1976-2022 (46)

Biological mother of JJ.
Mandy certainly DID die a natural death unlike the others but she is the most forgotten. I count her as a victim because the death of her son destroyed her. She may have lost custody but that doesn't mean he wasn't her world.
An account I read stated that she had surrendered her parental rights to JJs grandparents with the intention of getting him back when her circumstances were improved... instead they adopted him out. Then he was killed and all hope of an eventual reunion was lost. I have heard birth mothers of other murder victims speak on the devastation that comes of losing your child twice - being considered unfit to raise your own kid and then the sheer horror of the supposedly better 'suitable parent' killing their child.

I've used '& Chad?' a few times. That's because his trial is still pending and I have no idea what defence may be presented. It's hard to imagine how he could be innocent of any or all charges, especially Tammy's murder, but to me it's just a tad more plausible than Lori being innocent. I see Lori as the manipulator and mastermind and all the deaths directly benefited her, only Tammy's was directly to the benefit of Chad... Tammy was the family breadwinner so he needed her life insurance to start over with Lori. Chad clearly thinks he's amazeballs and a spiritual leader but personally I see him as a pathetically weak specimen, "led by the storm". He probably still thinks he was so clever and is still oblivious as to how he was played... although that's no excuse at all.

POSTSCRIPT

I had already roughed out this blog before I heard this call between Lori's brother Adam and Chandler PD after Charles' killing and it's like confirmation that my theories aren't totally OTT, especially regarding Joe Ryan's death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBriE0jW9GA

MJ Anniversary

Okay, okay I know...hardly original today but there it is! Gotta say I was never a Michael Jackson fan. I got into music after his solo heyday and it wasn't the sort of music my parents played either (they were into Queen, The Carpenters and Rod Stewart). I did buy one MJ single - Give In To Me - but pretty much only cos Slash was on it and I loved Guns n Roses.

The Jordan Chandler allegations seemed to me borne out of greed. What parent agrees to a cash settlement when their child has been harmed and other kids are in danger?

When the Martin Bashir interview came out I watched with as open a mind as I could muster but it confirmed to me my every suspicion - that MJ was vulnerable, gullible and most likely innocent. Martin Bashir came across (to me) as prejudiced and detirmined to portray MJ as a monster. I became more sympathetic to Michael's difficulties from that point on.

Later, when MJ was accused of child molestation for a second time, rather than thinking "there's no smoke without fire" I felt sure it was a second family's attempt to extort money from the star. I was probably as relieved as any MJ fan when he was found not guilty on all charges. I wept tears of joy because the whole thing stunk of a witch trial - the public seems to like nothing better than to put someone on a pedestal only to knock them off it - I thought there was no way he would receive a fair trial. As it was, trial by media nearly killed MJ - he was thin, gaunt and I believe he never truly recovered from the ordeal.

I wasn't bothered when MJ announced his This Is It final shows at the o2. It meant nothing to me but I was surprised by the media hype. For someone who hadn't had a hit in years and had only been in the headlines for all the wrong reasons it came as a surprise to me how many fans he still had; fans who would be prepared to pay a small fortune and, in many cases, fly to London for a concert.

Late evening on 25th June 2009 I was lurking on Twitter. Lots of random conversations going on with a general NKOTB flavour...then a girl I follow retweets a news headline: Michael Jackson suffers cardiac arrest. Within minutes there is only one topic of conversation - we are all Googling MJ, searching news websites for scraps of information, researching statistics on cardiac arrest - if the story is true it doesn't look good.

But is it true? Michael Jackson has been surrounded with random stories, particularly about his health, for years. Only a few weeks earlier a rumour was going around that he had skin cancer...

Sadly it does look like MJ has been rushed to hospital...all the same, the reason might be wrong. A lot of suspected heart attacks turn out to be far less serious...

Then come the first reports he has died...

That's the moment it goes from a sense of anxiety to OMFG. Not the sort of thing you report without being certain of your facts. I turned on the TV... Flicking between BBC News and Sky News and back and forth to check on Twitter it all unfolded. Site by site was confirming the death of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, at the age of 50. I wept.

I wonder how MJ would have felt that even his death made history - the first news story when most people heard about it first via the internet. For a man who achieved so much I like to think he'd have been impressed at achieving another first, and kind of glad to go out with a bang rather than a whimper.

Mind you, he would never have wanted to go before his children grew up. I can't imagine a worse moment for him to have died either, just weeks before This Is It was set to kick off. Knowing how excited I was to see NKOTB after 17 years I can only begin to imagine how I would have felt if my concert had been cancelled. This Is It ticket holders did not have a concert cancelled - their idol died...they must've gone through hell. I can't imagine losing one of NKOTB. The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes...inevitability doesn't make either one easier to bear.

He was a damaged soul - an abnormal life from early childhood took it's toll as did the media's later vilification. In some ways I am glad he is beyond being harmed by them anymore. His so-called friends too. I remain disgusted that Mark Lester would claim to be the biological father of MJs children. Even if it were a genuine possibility the media is not the place to discuss it. What on earth do claims like that do to the mind of a bereaved child?!

I hope Michael knew how much he was loved - it is always a pity when someone dies that they cannot see how much they are missed.

• Michael Jackson left 3 children - Prince (now 13), Paris (12) and Blanket (7).
• Omer Bhatti (25) is a possible 4th child; he sat with the family at MJs funeral.