Dissing Amber Heard again cos it's fun and I loathe her for the damage she's wrought on *real* victims / survivors

DISCLAIMER: everyone has been doing the dog/bee thing so no claims any of the following is an original thought

Note: This is for the lols

For anyone who missed the memo and this sounds entirely too ludicrous to be true...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7TX_W1nC6s

[Time stamp 0:48-0:50 Amber says UNDER OATH that her dog stepped on a bee and pulls a stupid face. For the record the owner of the 'trashed' trailer testified the 'damages' consisted of one (1) broken light fitting valued at $62]

"My dog stepped on a bee"

and got bit by a flea

Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea

Johnny Depp hit me

but I didn't flee

my nose was broken but I didn't take a selfie

got r*ped with a bottle but didn't go to A&E

or a GP 

I sh*t on the bed but didn't wee

I'm the princess and the pea

gave me a bruise on the knee

but no you can't see...

He lost one but I lost three

sux no one believes me

I rate the jury D

why am I even free?

A great vegan scrambled egg alternative is ackee

For anyone who missed the memo and this sounds entirely too ludicrous to be true...

https://twitter.com/todayshow/status/1536677940213297155

[Amber Heard claims in an interview that Johnny Depp 'convinced the world' he was, like, ACTUALLY Edward Scissorhands (1990)?! He's a great actor but that is seriously pushing it...]

"Says ... the lawyer ... for the man who convinced the world he had scissors for fingers?"

...the man who convinced the world he was eaten by a bed (Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984)

Given this was his FIRST ROLE I want an explanation as to how he was alive enough the rest of his career?

...the man who convinced the world the film-maker Ed Wood (1994; 1824-1978), policeman Frederick Abberline (From Hell, 2001; 1843-1929), author J. M. Barrie (Finding Neverland, 2004; 1860-1937), John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (The Libertine, 2004; 1647-1680), gangsters John Dillinger (Public Enemies, 2009; 1903-1934) and Whitey Bulger (Black Mass, 2015; 1929-2018) and POTUS Donald Trump (Donald Trump's The Art Of The Teal: The Movie, 2016; b. 1946) ARE ALL THE SAME PERSON

I'm sure I've left out other biographical characters but this lil list would make him (a) 375 years old and counting (b) at least 4 different people simultaneously in the 1920s.

...the man who convinced the world he runs a candy factory full of slaves (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 2005)

the man who convinced the world he was a throat-slitting barber (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, 2007)

OMG is THAT why she gifted him the engraved knife???

...the man who convinced the world he was a CGI chameleon (Rango, 2011)

...the man who convinced the world he was a vampire (Dark Shadows, 2012)

...the man who convinced the world he was a wizard (Fantastic Beasts, 2016 & 2018)

...the man who convinced the world he was a pirate (POTC, 2003-2017)

Actually, scrub that one. He IS Captain Jack Sparrow.

Agender and Angry

So last night (21:30, 29 Nov 2019) I was on the receiving end of what I consider to be a gender identity hate crime - it has been reported to the police as such.

It started when I was out for a walk. I mostly only get out briefly of an evening, between my daughter getting home from work and when she needs to get to bed. Sometimes my dad will sit with my mum so I can get out for a bit during the day but that's not relaxing - that's time for banking or shopping or running errands. I hate being cooped up inside. I hate that I am regaining the weight I worked so hard to lose (in part) from lack of exercise. That little bit of time in the evenings is so important to me.

So I'm out, playing PokemonGO, when this lad on a bike cycles straight at me on the path - and this is a path about 2m wide so the turd was definitely aiming at me. I moved aside - he moved the same way, definitely trying to hit me - no idea how we didn't collide. Anyhow, I spin round as he misses me by a whisker and gave him a piece of my mind. He's cycling on the path where he has no business to be, cycling at night with no lights, acting like I'M the one in the wrong? GAH!

The row escalated and he's being really nasty and one of the things he says is "if you weren't a woman I'd f*ck*ng punch you" and that is the sort of thing that makes me see red cos it is not okay to punch a complete stranger, even if they're yelling at you (especially if they're - A - justified in their yelling at you and - B - in no way shape or form physically threatening you) regardless of how they present, their gender identity or biological sex.

I don't think you get many feminists arguing that particular point because the 'don't hit a girl' rule works in their favour but it really annoys me. It's a form of misogyny to treat females as weak / vulnerable / whatever. Males of the species are not fair game for mindless violence.

Then there's the just don't go there thing of presuming my gender. I am biologically female, I present (vaguely) as female I guess, I'm okay with female pronouns but I don't feel like I have any kind of connection with the average cis female so please don't call me a girl (especially as I'm bleedin' middle aged) and while I might refer to myself as a woman it's mostly a force-of-habit thing. This is why I am egalitarian (the doctrine that all people are equal and deserve equal rights) - I believe women's rights, men's rights, trans rights, non binary rights are the SAME rights.

So I'm like "please don't assume my gender, for your information I am agender". This was possibly a mistake cos the jumped up little twat goes from derogatory comments about my womanhood and presentation (yeah cos I am gonna dress more 'womanly' to appease a complete stranger who is taking offence at my WELLIES...I mean, this lad was completely NUTS) to full on transphobic shit. Cos obviously he doesn't even know what 'agender' is "What you think you're a man? You wanna be a man?" he's screaming at me - and I swear this is the best bit - then this little runt comes out with "it's the 21st century you're a f*ck*ng woman intcha?!" WOW someone totally missed the memo on gender identity and equality. My 77 year old dad doesn't get it but he's still more clued up than this dipshit.

Anyway, the encounter concluded with him punching me several times in the head and giving me a good solid kick in the ribs. I was bloody tempted to hit back but smacking other people's children is frowned upon. Actually surprised the scrawny little asswipe had it in him - definitely had him pegged as the all-mouth-no-trousers type, not least of his (largely incomprehensible) ranting seemed to have something to do with his mummy. I'll add here that he identified himself as being FIFTEEN - 15 and he's on about his mummy and assaulting middle aged pedestrians for being angry he tried to hit them with his bike...what even?!

So I called the police and made a statement. I don't expect anything to come of it but maybe someone caught something on their dashcam...or maybe it'll get linked to the next person he lays into...or maybe he's enough of an asshole to actually upload the video he was taking of me while he was being a d*ck to me.

If feels weird to have been on the receiving end of a hate crime. Fortunately, although I haven't known the term 'agender' all that long in the great scheme of things, I am confident enough in my own identity to own that identity and not back down from it in the face of jumped up little chavboys who obviously aren't mature enough to be out on their own. What this would do to someone who is struggling with their identity, suffering from dysphoria or insecure about themselves doesn't bear thinking about.

INJURIES

• Swollen left ear & bruise* on bone behind
• Very tender lump on left temple under hairline
• Bruised* underside left cheekbone, down face to under lower jaw
• Bruised* lower left-hand ribs

(* all bruises are felt, but still not visible at 24 hrs)

Not that it matters but as the gender identity abuse because he was belittling my presentation as (he assumed) a woman I'll include here a run-down of how I appeared:

HOW I WAS PRESENTING AT THE TIME

• Hair close cropped (went over it at a grade 6 about a week ago), usual piercings (nose, helix, multiple lobes and 10mm tunnels) & jewellery (copper bangles, mala beads, snake ring), no make up as is standard - I generally resemble a potato
• Baggy dark green tunic under unisex FVK hoodie
• Black leggings
• Black wellies with white spots

Not feminine, not masculine, just Heggie. Probably the most 'feminine' thing about me is the fact I have boobs. It honestly appalls me the shit transgender people have to face and having had the tiniest taste of it I am LIVID at how badly educated even young people apparently are cos if this turd is the future we're all fucked.

Abusive Relationships

I have seen an awful lot about this Suicide Squad movie (not that I could care less) and about the relationship between The Joker and Harley Quinn. Specifically comments of the "stop idealising abusive relationships" variety.

Now, I know next to nothing about The Joker and Harley, although my daughter assures me she's a depraved psychopath rather than some meek victim of domestic abuse. So I'm not going to comment about that directly.

Here is what I want to say:

Stop representing abusive relationships as entirely meek women being controlled by violent men

• Not all domestic abuse victims are women; men are vicims too
• Not all domestic abuse situations are abuser-victim; abusive relationships can be two-way
• Not all domestic abuse victims are desperately seeking a way out; why do you think people stay with their abusers? BECAUSE THEY LOVE THEM (love is not rational)
• Not all domestic abuse victims are meek, weak, pitiful or unintelligent. This can happen to ANYONE, EVERYONE. This stereotype is especially unhelpful as it means 'unlikely looking' domestic abuse victims get little or no support - you're a headteacher, a company CEO, a bodybuilder, a politician, a police chief, a brain surgeon, a rocket schientist, a marathon runner...strong, successful, smart...so how can you be a victim? 

If Harley is an intelligent, powerful woman it doesn't diminish her ability to be a victim but it does bring me on to my next point. If she's an intelligent, powerful woman perhaps she is in that relationship by her own choice? People don't always do what is best for themselves. Plenty of smart, successful types who smoke, drink to excess, get obese, do no exercise, gamble, do drugs etc etc.

Stop disempowering people in abusive relationships by making assumptions about them and what is best for them

• This is not you life; yes, you are probably right but that doesn't matter - you being judgmental makes them less empowered toward change
• Telling someone they're fat doesn't make them go on a diet, why do you think that criticising their relationship will make them leave? How do you think that criticism will make someone stronger? Stop chipping away at their possibly limited self esteem!!!

EMPOWER domestic abuse victims. I befriended someone while they were living in a refuge and one of the hardest things I have ever done was to decide, instantly, how to react to their phone call telling me they'd gone back to their abuser. In a split second I had to make a choice...I chose empowerment. It's your life, your choice, you have the right, you have that power, if you need anything call me. That was over a decade ago and I still wonder... But I stand by my words. I may possibly have been the only voice of empowerment in their life as friends, family and abuser told them that they were useless, worthless, unimportant. No way in hell was I gonna add to those voices of negativity. If I could plant just one seed that might ever help them try to leave again someday...well, that was what I was going to do.

So yeah, that's what's annoying me about all this Suicide Squad hype. (Again emphasising that I know next to nothing of the film, comics or characters) Stop disempowering Harley, quit assuming you know what's best for her. If she wants to leave her abusive relationship support her in that, if she chooses to stay accept that she's her own person and has the right to mess up her life any which way she chooses! 

ALSO IT'S A FUCKING FILM! Ever heard of FICTION?! Get a grip, people.

The Great Loo Debate

I have seen an awful lot on social media lately about transgender people's right to use the bathroom of choice and I want to put in my tuppence worth on the topic.

1a. Gendered bathrooms are a thing we are taught to expect from early childhood, a lot of people are going to be pissy (no pun intended) if expected to do something they are distinctly uncomfortable about. Given that estimates put non gender conforming people at around 1% of the population that leaves a huge majority of people who could be left feeling potentially unable to use public restrooms.

1b. Being uncomfortable about using public bathrooms leads to shy bladder / shy bowel syndrome which leads to issues like urinary tract infections, constipation and even incontinence. I understand that a lot of trans people may well suffer from this but dispensing with segregated bathrooms is likely to exacerbate the issue and become a health risk for a lot more people.

1c. Who have you shared a bathroom with of the opposite biological gender? For a lot of us only EVER family members and people we were otherwise intimately acquainted with. Maybe YOU have a background where you've shared facilities with a range of people but a lot of us haven't and would never willingly to do so.  Also I should imagine that for women of very conservative religious backgrounds particularly this is could be a deeply problematic thing. I'm no expert on religious issues but given that strictly religious women of several failths have to be separate from men in many day-to-day activities anyway this is bound to be a deeply divisive issue which could lead to cases of religious discrimination if segregated facilities were not upheld.

2. We're being told that 'bathroom predators' are a myth but tell that to the numerous men, women and children who've been assaulted in that way. Yes, most people are raped / abused by people they know but assaults by strangers can and do happen; yes, we know same-sex assaults happen but statistically women are more likely to be assaulted by men than other scenarios - and public restrooms have always been considered a high risk place. Girls go to the loo in packs for REASONS, and those do not generally include fear of basilisks.

3a. No one is specifically equating being trans with being a 'bathroom predator' BUT...being trans doesn't make you a good person. Sorry but your identity does not equate to your morality.

3b. How are we planning to ascertain whether someone is trans? Disabled people have to carry ID / radar keys to access locked facilities which they have to have medical proof of their NEED for such a thing (which, lets face it, is an utter disgrace. Adults, especially those with incontinence issues, should not be having to ask to use the bathroom in the 21st century!) - you see someone using the disabled bathroom you can challenge them on their right to do so. What people are REALLY concerned about here is predators PRETENDING to be trans; a system so bogged down by political correctness that a man entering a women's bathroom (for example) is not challenged.

4. Not an issue that is usually raised but...if genderless bathrooms become commonplace / people are not challenged on entering a bathroom contrary to their apparent birth sex it may well also lead to an increase in *ahem* bathroom assignations / public indecency issues and I don't suppose anyone wants that.

Question: if a man in a gender-free bathroom comes out of a cubicle with his fly unzipped / if a woman comes out with her skirt tucked in her knickers will they risk being done for exposing themselves??? These things happen a lot and are usually rectified before leaving the restroom thanks to mirrors / friendly fellow occupants. Mixed bathrooms could seriously complicate that.

I personally think trans people who are undergoing treatment - psychological, hormone or surgical - should be able to use the facilities of choice and being issued with a medical ID (like the disabled version) to prove their case if challenged. Simply saying 'I identify as a man' or 'I identify as a woman' is too easy for paedophiles and other sexual predators to do.
There are few statistics on either but there are likely to be more gender non-conforming people than sexual predators in the UK but this is not about numbers this is about perceived risk. Sexual predators pose a risk and changing how public bathrooms operate will certainly increase that risk as well as perception of it.
It would be a good idea if all new public buildings were required to provide a gender-free FOURTH bathroom type (after male, female, accessible - previously disabled) - being for trans and others such as parents who need to supervise opposite gender children (which can be a major headache, especially if you have an older child with special needs who is not 'disabled' as such). A similar requirement could be put in place that all refurbishments should provide this fourth category of restroom wherever possible. By being a fourth type it would give people the choice, and choice is important - for ALL of us.

EDIT (2019)
I identify as agender and I am biologically female so I have always used female loos. I have cleaned bathrooms for a living and have no desire whatsoever to share facilities with males of the species - even at home! When my stepdad visits I make him use one particular loo cos he pees on the floor!
I was assaulted by a teenage lad the other day for being agender... and that was out on a busy main road - heaven knows how much danger people could be at in an enclosed, private space like a bathroom. Sexual assault, gender assault, religious persecution, an innocent lad getting mistaken for a paedophile because he took his little sister into the bathroom?! The possibilities are endless and while not all are limited to shared public loos they'd certainly make it easier to attack someone.