Note: If you don't know what I'm on about please Google (or search engine of choice) Fluid Hair Sarah Cameron and you'll soon find out.
Last night I came across a story from Canada that has me well and truly baffled.
To some extent I can see why using an image depicting domestic abuse is inappropriate for advertising a hair salon but I do not understand the total contempt for it, nor the ironically violent attitude of the public toward its creator.
The image depicts a well dressed woman, poised, with immaculate hair and a spectacular black eye, seated on a sofa gazing confidently at the viewer. Behind the sofa stands a man with a diamond necklace in his hands.
The image, given the tag line "look good in all you do", is supposed to represent the strength of women. The woman depicted is emphatically NOT a cowed, battered wife. She is not taking the husband's guilt-gift. She is not looking at him; she has her back to him and seems unafraid. The message is intended to come across as "I am strong, I have more control than HE thinks, HE is behind me...and it'll cost him a damn sight more than a necklace!"
And this is very much how I see it. Why should a battered wife only ever be portrayed as a downtrodden frump living in terror? That may be many women's experience but it not the only experience. Sadly, if this woman went to the police, despite the evidence of the shiner, she might well be disbelieved because she does not fit the "victim" stereotype.
Let's just consider how domestic abuse IS portrayed in the media for a moment...
The victim is almost always a woman, usually young, preferably attractive and innocent of any "provoking" behaviour such as adultery. The perpetrator is almost always a man, usually the husband, often depicted as virtually insane. Rarely are men shown as victims, or women as perpetrators. I don't think I have EVER seen a depiction of a parent being abused by their child or within any relationship other than a couple. Yet these and many other scenarios exist.
Every time domestic abuse is represented on a soap opera there is an outcry. The media is confusingly accused of sensationalising, trivialising and glamourising the issue. People complain because the writers complicate the issue with other issues such as adultery or alcoholism - but it IS a frequently complicated issue! I think people complain because they just don't want to see it... Incidentally, the most accurate soap storyline would be for domestic abuse to be revealed within a long established couple - pointing out that you rarely know it's going on and often has gone unnoticed by friends and family for years!
People are complaining about a domestic abuse image being used to advertise a hair salon. But where do such images belong? There is very little about domestic abuse in the public eye - it takes a controversial soap opera plotline or a real-life murder to get people talking. This sort of image disturbs people, upsets people, provokes debate when used in such a way. If this image was used for a helpline it would hardly be noticed...and therein lies the problem. Not least of all because funding for such helplines and their advertising is hard to come by.
Domestic abuse is too often hidden out of sight and not talked about. Those who claim to have suffered - for example Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson's ex - are often met with disbelief and criticism at making the claim. Victims have few role models. We have celebrities who've battled drink, drugs, impoverished beginnings or child abuse to make something of their lives...but domestic abuse? No one springs to mind.
Attitudes are complex. A man who says, "I am an alcoholic, I need help," is praised for taking the first step. A man who says, "I hit my partner, I need help," is condemned!
We NEED to provoke people into talking, into addressing this issue.
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Wisdom?
I guess that last post was cathartic. I expressed a load of pent-up emotions and got it out of my system and am consequently now feeling much better.
I don't suppose I'll ever fully get over my problems. I've had attempts at counselling in the past but it doesn't offer (me at least) any kind of resolution.
Part of the problem is you can't resolve issues that involve other people unless they're part of the process (which in my case they're not) and in this I am reminded of the serenity prayer:
I can't change my past and maybe one day I'll gain some serenity over it...but it's damn slow coming...at least I have the wisdom to see things as they are now - I don't hold all the anger I once did but, from time to time, it all gets a bit much.
I don't suppose I'll ever fully get over my problems. I've had attempts at counselling in the past but it doesn't offer (me at least) any kind of resolution.
Part of the problem is you can't resolve issues that involve other people unless they're part of the process (which in my case they're not) and in this I am reminded of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serentity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
I can't change my past and maybe one day I'll gain some serenity over it...but it's damn slow coming...at least I have the wisdom to see things as they are now - I don't hold all the anger I once did but, from time to time, it all gets a bit much.
Sour Apples
It has been quite a while since I last blogged and I apologise for coming back on a sour note.
Today I am feeling...resentful.
My sort of step dad is going into hospital today for surgery tomorrow due to suspected bowel cancer. He's a wonderful bloke and I'm very concerned for him - yet cautiously optomistic as, so far, all the tests have come back clear. My mum has been with him since the alarm bells sounded (they don't live together, hence the "sort of") and I don't resent the fact he's getting the care and support he needs. Not at all. I'm glad she's come through for him. Nuturing isn't in her nature.
Meanwhile, my dad has been expressing concern for his on/off girlfriend who has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the mother. I don't like the sound of the mother in the slightest but I sympathise with what her daughter is going through, and will go through in the coming months.
So what is it that I resent? I resent that when I was going through my last cancer scare 4 years ago my mum didn't come and hold MY hand through all the appointments... Not, I suppose, that I really would've wanted her there but I don't think it ever occurred to her that I might need support.
I don't mean to sound like a stroppy adolescent but I've never felt loved or cared for by my parents. I'm an independent minded woman because I've had to be. I learned early in life that being sick or injured wouldn't make any difference. If my kid had been hit by a car at age 7 I'd have been beside myself with worry; I'd have cried and held my child for hours and I'm not exactly Ms Maternal myself. That's not how it was when I was hit by a car...
My ex left me just before my first cancer scare when I was 20. He was the only person I'd ever really believed cared about me but as I lay in hospital, frightened and alone after emergency surgery at 15 weeks pregnant with our second child, he told me on the phone he couldn't be bothered to visit me and bring me in a nightie. My parents were over a hundred miles away.
So, four years ago, I'd found another lump. My mum was taking me and my kids on holiday and I found the mass just hours before we were due to depart. I told my mum straight away and her reaction was to carry on regardless: a week's delay in going to a doctor wouldn't make any difference...after all, it had been okay last time! I agreed, partly cos I knew she'd be furious if I insisted on staying behind.
It WAS okay. Perhaps they were worried about me and didn't show it so as not to frighten me more than I already was... But ultimately I don't believe that.
I don't want to be needy and greedy and selfish but I wish so badly that I had someone I KNEW loved me, knew there was someone who'd be there at the drop of a hat to hold me and tell me everything would be all right. It frightens me that instead this searing loneliness may be all I'll ever know.
I want my step dad to be okay. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel like a 33 year old independent woman and not like a lost and lonely child...
Today I am feeling...resentful.
My sort of step dad is going into hospital today for surgery tomorrow due to suspected bowel cancer. He's a wonderful bloke and I'm very concerned for him - yet cautiously optomistic as, so far, all the tests have come back clear. My mum has been with him since the alarm bells sounded (they don't live together, hence the "sort of") and I don't resent the fact he's getting the care and support he needs. Not at all. I'm glad she's come through for him. Nuturing isn't in her nature.
Meanwhile, my dad has been expressing concern for his on/off girlfriend who has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the mother. I don't like the sound of the mother in the slightest but I sympathise with what her daughter is going through, and will go through in the coming months.
So what is it that I resent? I resent that when I was going through my last cancer scare 4 years ago my mum didn't come and hold MY hand through all the appointments... Not, I suppose, that I really would've wanted her there but I don't think it ever occurred to her that I might need support.
I don't mean to sound like a stroppy adolescent but I've never felt loved or cared for by my parents. I'm an independent minded woman because I've had to be. I learned early in life that being sick or injured wouldn't make any difference. If my kid had been hit by a car at age 7 I'd have been beside myself with worry; I'd have cried and held my child for hours and I'm not exactly Ms Maternal myself. That's not how it was when I was hit by a car...
My ex left me just before my first cancer scare when I was 20. He was the only person I'd ever really believed cared about me but as I lay in hospital, frightened and alone after emergency surgery at 15 weeks pregnant with our second child, he told me on the phone he couldn't be bothered to visit me and bring me in a nightie. My parents were over a hundred miles away.
So, four years ago, I'd found another lump. My mum was taking me and my kids on holiday and I found the mass just hours before we were due to depart. I told my mum straight away and her reaction was to carry on regardless: a week's delay in going to a doctor wouldn't make any difference...after all, it had been okay last time! I agreed, partly cos I knew she'd be furious if I insisted on staying behind.
It WAS okay. Perhaps they were worried about me and didn't show it so as not to frighten me more than I already was... But ultimately I don't believe that.
I don't want to be needy and greedy and selfish but I wish so badly that I had someone I KNEW loved me, knew there was someone who'd be there at the drop of a hat to hold me and tell me everything would be all right. It frightens me that instead this searing loneliness may be all I'll ever know.
I want my step dad to be okay. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel like a 33 year old independent woman and not like a lost and lonely child...
Saturday, 19 February 2011
The Country Has Gone Mad! (UK)
I am blogging on behalf of my father, O. S. Feltham, who likes a good rant but dislikes technology.
Note: (my additions / alterations from his original) [my comments]
First, Parliament encourages people to spend beyond their means and (when) they can't pay it back Parliament blames the banks for giving loans.
Now we have a health organisation (NHS) suggesting that the tax payer gives money to those who abuse their bodies.
Those that smoke choose to smoke. It is not forced upon them. The individual makes that choice knowing the consequences of their action. If the tax payer paid them for 6 or 12 months (as has been suggested) what is going to stop them start smoking again when the free hand outs stop? If they want to have more money in their pockets and better health they have that choice and should not be paid to do so.
Those that are overweight are a different matter. Can the medical profession tell the difference between medical conditions and gluttony? If so, the medical conditions should be treated and gluttony should not. Gluttony is an individual's choice; it's a matter of will power. It is the people's choice, leave it to the people.
[I totally agree with this. My overeating is my fault; my responsibility. The fact I can't lose weight when dieting / increasing exercise may be medical. Two different issues. I think it's a disgrace that alcoholics like George Best get liver transplants. If you abuse your body and fail to change your ways why expect free treatment for the damage you have inflicted?]
The only people supporting the Government in these hard times are the savers in the country. [Supporting financially, not supportive]
For being prudent and saving, the returns are almost nil. This is because the biggest borrower (the government) cannot afford interest rates to rise. Therefore, in the long term, the interest rate must be almost zero.
Savers need to make a stand and remove from banks and Building Societies all their savings earning 1% or less - you can always put it in a bank safe deposit scheme.
What would be the Government's response? After all, the Government has made it cheaper for individuals and businesses to borrow money - cheaper mortgages - they have made it easier to go bankrupt so you can live the high life and the savers have to pay for it.
When is the Government going to do something for savers?
Parliament should stop whinging about bankers bonuses and put their own house in order. Stop all bonuses in local government and ministry departments. After all, they do not make a profit for the country.
Why should a person working in local (a) local authority be paid up to £80 per month and 43p per mile because they use their own car for work when in the private sector you would be very lucky to get (just) the 43p per mile?
If our armed forces get paid £15-£20,000 PA with no bonus why are people in the Ministry of Defense paid approx 4 times as much plus a bonus on top?
Pensions - the Government gives tax incentives to save in a pension scheme; therefore you give money to the pension scheme provider. The more one saves the greater the gift from the Government therefore benefiting the rich (who can afford higher contributions) rather than the poor - looking after your rich friend again!
As far as I understand (it), when an individual dies so does his pension - unless that person opted to have a named spouse so the pension would carry on for another 5 years. So all that tax payer's money that went into the pension (fund) is now added to the pension provider.
Would it not be better for a pension scheme to benefit those less well off, say those earning less than £35,000 PA (whilst) those earning above (would have to) save for themselves?
Who looks after the interests of the people who live in England?
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own Assemblies but we have no independant body.
[I totally agree; and why is it "racist" to consider myself English? The Welsh can be Welsh, the Cornish can even be Cornish but I can't be English? Even English as a school subject has been renamed "literacy."]
Why should people in England subsidise the other areas of the Union?
A better and fairer system of raising tax is required instead of Council Tax because like rates system it is unfair.
If you live in the South East you will pay more because someone says your house is valued more than (a virtually identical house) in another part of the country.
If you do not change the Council Tax the money raised should be spent by that authority and not given to another authority so they do not have to raise their Council Tax!
If you have two people per taxable house (they) pay the same as a family of four or more wage earners. In your "fair society" this cannot be allowed to continue.
[My parents would've been better off under Margaret Thatcher's Poll Tax. Why should people be penalised for having the good fortune to live in a higher value home? The house you live in does not always reflect your wealth. My parents were never high wage earners but bought their house as a fixer-upper, worked hard, scrimped and saved, the value went up and - hey presto! - they lost out to the tax man!]
All (political) parties look out for their rich friends. It's about time someone looked after the not so well off.
Why should a person who is rich enough (get away with not paying) his due tax because he can employ someone to form a scheme not to pay tax?
The last time I brought this up with my MP I was told that the country needs entrepreneurs to make money for the country. Entrepreneurs are paid well enough in salaries, bonuses, shares and any scheme they think of to make more money. They should all pay tax on all earnings made from other people in this country.
If you took tax from all the rich people who avoid it at the moment perhaps you could pay off the defecit in (as little as) one year and not have to cut benefits to the poor.
Government departments and local authorities should still be cut to save the tax payer (from) paying more and more.
There. I hope you enjoyed my dad's rant.
Let me leave you with this thought: We are taught that everyone is equal and should be treated accordingly and yet by doing so the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Those in the middle miss out even more. They miss out on the incentives offered to the rich and the benefits given to the poor.
There is a reason why Robin Hood is such an enduring folk hero. His tale is one of redressing the balance; of taking from those who can afford it and giving to those who can least afford to give.
Note: (my additions / alterations from his original) [my comments]
First, Parliament encourages people to spend beyond their means and (when) they can't pay it back Parliament blames the banks for giving loans.
Now we have a health organisation (NHS) suggesting that the tax payer gives money to those who abuse their bodies.
Those that smoke choose to smoke. It is not forced upon them. The individual makes that choice knowing the consequences of their action. If the tax payer paid them for 6 or 12 months (as has been suggested) what is going to stop them start smoking again when the free hand outs stop? If they want to have more money in their pockets and better health they have that choice and should not be paid to do so.
Those that are overweight are a different matter. Can the medical profession tell the difference between medical conditions and gluttony? If so, the medical conditions should be treated and gluttony should not. Gluttony is an individual's choice; it's a matter of will power. It is the people's choice, leave it to the people.
[I totally agree with this. My overeating is my fault; my responsibility. The fact I can't lose weight when dieting / increasing exercise may be medical. Two different issues. I think it's a disgrace that alcoholics like George Best get liver transplants. If you abuse your body and fail to change your ways why expect free treatment for the damage you have inflicted?]
The only people supporting the Government in these hard times are the savers in the country. [Supporting financially, not supportive]
For being prudent and saving, the returns are almost nil. This is because the biggest borrower (the government) cannot afford interest rates to rise. Therefore, in the long term, the interest rate must be almost zero.
Savers need to make a stand and remove from banks and Building Societies all their savings earning 1% or less - you can always put it in a bank safe deposit scheme.
What would be the Government's response? After all, the Government has made it cheaper for individuals and businesses to borrow money - cheaper mortgages - they have made it easier to go bankrupt so you can live the high life and the savers have to pay for it.
When is the Government going to do something for savers?
Parliament should stop whinging about bankers bonuses and put their own house in order. Stop all bonuses in local government and ministry departments. After all, they do not make a profit for the country.
Why should a person working in local (a) local authority be paid up to £80 per month and 43p per mile because they use their own car for work when in the private sector you would be very lucky to get (just) the 43p per mile?
If our armed forces get paid £15-£20,000 PA with no bonus why are people in the Ministry of Defense paid approx 4 times as much plus a bonus on top?
Pensions - the Government gives tax incentives to save in a pension scheme; therefore you give money to the pension scheme provider. The more one saves the greater the gift from the Government therefore benefiting the rich (who can afford higher contributions) rather than the poor - looking after your rich friend again!
As far as I understand (it), when an individual dies so does his pension - unless that person opted to have a named spouse so the pension would carry on for another 5 years. So all that tax payer's money that went into the pension (fund) is now added to the pension provider.
Would it not be better for a pension scheme to benefit those less well off, say those earning less than £35,000 PA (whilst) those earning above (would have to) save for themselves?
Who looks after the interests of the people who live in England?
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own Assemblies but we have no independant body.
[I totally agree; and why is it "racist" to consider myself English? The Welsh can be Welsh, the Cornish can even be Cornish but I can't be English? Even English as a school subject has been renamed "literacy."]
Why should people in England subsidise the other areas of the Union?
- Prescription Charges
- Hospital Parking
- Tuition Fees
A better and fairer system of raising tax is required instead of Council Tax because like rates system it is unfair.
If you live in the South East you will pay more because someone says your house is valued more than (a virtually identical house) in another part of the country.
If you do not change the Council Tax the money raised should be spent by that authority and not given to another authority so they do not have to raise their Council Tax!
If you have two people per taxable house (they) pay the same as a family of four or more wage earners. In your "fair society" this cannot be allowed to continue.
[My parents would've been better off under Margaret Thatcher's Poll Tax. Why should people be penalised for having the good fortune to live in a higher value home? The house you live in does not always reflect your wealth. My parents were never high wage earners but bought their house as a fixer-upper, worked hard, scrimped and saved, the value went up and - hey presto! - they lost out to the tax man!]
All (political) parties look out for their rich friends. It's about time someone looked after the not so well off.
Why should a person who is rich enough (get away with not paying) his due tax because he can employ someone to form a scheme not to pay tax?
The last time I brought this up with my MP I was told that the country needs entrepreneurs to make money for the country. Entrepreneurs are paid well enough in salaries, bonuses, shares and any scheme they think of to make more money. They should all pay tax on all earnings made from other people in this country.
If you took tax from all the rich people who avoid it at the moment perhaps you could pay off the defecit in (as little as) one year and not have to cut benefits to the poor.
Government departments and local authorities should still be cut to save the tax payer (from) paying more and more.
There. I hope you enjoyed my dad's rant.
Let me leave you with this thought: We are taught that everyone is equal and should be treated accordingly and yet by doing so the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Those in the middle miss out even more. They miss out on the incentives offered to the rich and the benefits given to the poor.
There is a reason why Robin Hood is such an enduring folk hero. His tale is one of redressing the balance; of taking from those who can afford it and giving to those who can least afford to give.
Monday, 15 November 2010
Anti-Bullying Week (UK)
This is an issue very close to my heart as I and my eldest daughter suffered pretty badly through school. To be honest, if you say you haven't been affected by bullying I don't really believe you. Seems like it's a universal problem, but that doesn't mean we should just accept it.
However, I do have a problem with the anti-bullying campaigns. They all call for the victim, or witnesses of bullying, to speak up - like under-reporting is the main issue with tackling the problem. Like they're blaming the victims for not coming forward.
I don't think you should suffer in silence but ultimately there's only one thing I've found that works - get out of the situation.
My daughter has been bullied at two out of four schools she has attended. She has also been home-schooled for a time because the situation became so intollerable. The bullying was reported to the schools - immediately and in full, on each occassion. The results varied slightly but ultimately the result was the same each time - nothing changed.
All of the following happened to us in response to our complaints, some at one school, some at both:-
- That's terrible, we'll deal with it straight away (nothing done)
- We don't have a bullying problem in this school (yes you do, I am reporting it to you that you do!)
- We can't discuss your child's bullying with you because it involves someone else's child (the bully)
- The assault happened off school grounds - we're not interested
- The assault happened on school grounds but after class - we're not interested
- The assault happened in class - but we think your daughter faked her injury / over reacted
- We're not responsible for your child's safety (WTF?!)
- We're not responsible for reporting serious assaults to the police / seeking medical attention for your injured child (also WTF?!)
- My daughter kept in (like detention) through lunchbreak "for her own safety" while the bully and her gang roamed free
- After umpteen incidents involving the same bully being told each incident was treated as an isolated incident because they "couldn't prove a link"
- Being told: you are manipulating your daughter into making false allegations (after months of trouble and on withdrawing my daughter from the school)
- My daughter being kept in the school counsellor's office almost all day on her last day as her head of house (or was it head of year?) tried to force her to withdraw her complaints
- On complaining to the local authority: no response
- On complaining to the secretary for education: two letters which bore no relation to the complaints I had made (one said I should discuss my issues with the school - grrr! - the other just said there was no funding for home-schooling...um, did I ask for money?!)
- On lodging an appeal to get my daughter into another school her ex school made a statement that I'd withdrawn her before they could correct the situation - they had done nothing, for months! I only withdrew her when they missed their own deadline for tackling the problem.
I did everything I could, by the book and got nowhere. They tried to turn it around saying my daughter was oversensitive and it's normal childhood pranks. Being punched on an almost daily basis is not normal. Having rumours put about that you made a false allegation of rape against a boy in your class is not normal. I was told I had unrealistic expectations: I expected my daughter to spend more time in class than the school counsellor's office! How is that unrealistic?!
I am definitely not saying anyone should suffer in silence but what good did reporting it do? My daughter was treated as a troublemaker because she dared to complain. The headmistress refused to speak to me. I was told it was my fault for making waves. And when I tried to take it higher no one cared.
Why spend thousands of pounds on bullying awareness? Everyone's aware of it! Why encourage kids to come forward if nothing is done when they do? Sort out the damn system!
It's not just my own experiences at school or those of my daughter. I see it around me all the time. A friend home-schools her son after he was urinated on by his bully at school. Stories of kids suffering drug addictions, eating disorders, teen drinking, teen pregnancy, teen suicide are in the news all the time. A principal cause in all of these is bullying.
Just two weeks ago a school dinner lady went to tribunal after she was sacked for "bringing the school into disrepute"...by telling parents their child was being bullied! If that's how they treat the staff just imagine how they treat the parents who complain and the children who are victimised.
At the moment, in all the government cutbacks, quangos are being axed left right and centre. But there NEEDS to be some kind of external authority to report these things to. Allowing schools to police themselves DOES NOT WORK. They are supposed to log all incidents of bullying but of course they don't cos it makes them look bad!
Even after almost two years the whole thing makes me furious. My daughter was in daily physical danger. She stopped eating and contemplated suicide. Even the referral to see a counsellor never came to anything...I suspect the referral was never made.
Just before she left that last dreadful school was Anti Bullying Week 2008. My daughter was being put through acting out the scenarios she was living every day in a disgusting parody; being taught to speak up at the same time as she was being ignored!
If I had my time over I don't know exactly what I'd do differently...other than pull her out of that s***hole sooner...because I did what I was supposed to.
Friday, 3 September 2010
The Karma Kwiz
Question 1
There is a strange cylindrical object underneath your desk, is it:-
a) a bin for my rubbish
b) a bin for all sorts of crap like that half drunk cup of manky coffee and rotting fruit
c) I haven't been trained for this - it might be a bin...I chuck my rubbish in its general direction
d) I don't know and I fear it
Question 2
You're on the phone after office hours and the cleaner comes in, do you:-
a) end my call, it's a personal one anyway
b) carry on regardless
c) speak up. It's a confidential call but the cleaner probably doesn't 'speeka de englisch'
d) glare at the cleaner. How dare she interupt me.
Question 3
It's Friday on a Bank Holiday weekend and the bins won't get emptied until Tuesday morning, do you:-
a) take my food scraps home for the compost heap - I do anyway
b) wrap my food scraps before putting them in the bin - I do anyway
c) carry on regardless
d) eat a couple of fruit baskets for lunch and leave it all to moulder in my waste paper basket
Question 4
Under your desk is:-
a) very little
b) a few storage boxes
c) a lot of messy clutter including about fifteen pairs of shoes
d) how would I know? It's scary down there!
Question 5
When I see the cleaner doing her rounds do you:-
a) say "hi" or "bye" or "thanks" or just smile and nod
b) ignore her
c) give her a wary look
d) glare. I get paid more therefore she's below my notice, right?
Question 6
The cleaner is hoovering, working her way around the office. Do you:-
a) make sure you're out of the way by the time she reaches your desk
b) stay put, she can hoover around me, I'm busy
c) empty the hole-punch on the floor so she can hoover that up too
d) contrive to stand in her way as many times as is possible and then act surprised to see her when she says "excuse me please"
YOUR RESULTS
Mostly As - Your karma is excellent
Mostly Bs - Your karma is fine but there's room for improvement
Mostly Cs - Your karma needs work. A lot of work.
Mostly Ds - Your karma is TERRIBLE! Heaven help you...and it's nothing to do with that voodoo doll that looks a lot like you strung up in the cleaning supplies closet. Honest.
There is a strange cylindrical object underneath your desk, is it:-
a) a bin for my rubbish
b) a bin for all sorts of crap like that half drunk cup of manky coffee and rotting fruit
c) I haven't been trained for this - it might be a bin...I chuck my rubbish in its general direction
d) I don't know and I fear it
Question 2
You're on the phone after office hours and the cleaner comes in, do you:-
a) end my call, it's a personal one anyway
b) carry on regardless
c) speak up. It's a confidential call but the cleaner probably doesn't 'speeka de englisch'
d) glare at the cleaner. How dare she interupt me.
Question 3
It's Friday on a Bank Holiday weekend and the bins won't get emptied until Tuesday morning, do you:-
a) take my food scraps home for the compost heap - I do anyway
b) wrap my food scraps before putting them in the bin - I do anyway
c) carry on regardless
d) eat a couple of fruit baskets for lunch and leave it all to moulder in my waste paper basket
Question 4
Under your desk is:-
a) very little
b) a few storage boxes
c) a lot of messy clutter including about fifteen pairs of shoes
d) how would I know? It's scary down there!
Question 5
When I see the cleaner doing her rounds do you:-
a) say "hi" or "bye" or "thanks" or just smile and nod
b) ignore her
c) give her a wary look
d) glare. I get paid more therefore she's below my notice, right?
Question 6
The cleaner is hoovering, working her way around the office. Do you:-
a) make sure you're out of the way by the time she reaches your desk
b) stay put, she can hoover around me, I'm busy
c) empty the hole-punch on the floor so she can hoover that up too
d) contrive to stand in her way as many times as is possible and then act surprised to see her when she says "excuse me please"
YOUR RESULTS
Mostly As - Your karma is excellent
Mostly Bs - Your karma is fine but there's room for improvement
Mostly Cs - Your karma needs work. A lot of work.
Mostly Ds - Your karma is TERRIBLE! Heaven help you...and it's nothing to do with that voodoo doll that looks a lot like you strung up in the cleaning supplies closet. Honest.
Friday, 30 July 2010
Five Brothers and a Million Sisters
I wish I could remember how I heard about the reunion of New Kids On The Block...
I was a technophobe for the longest time and a few years ago (2006-ish?) I finally took the plunge and went on a course called "Computers for the Curious and Terrified"...practically the first thing I did on learning how to look stuff up on the internet was to search "Donnie Wahlberg".
According to my kids I had never even mentioned NKOTB. I can't believe that's true but I had put it away, not followed the guys' solo careers. When they split up it was painful, and I was having some major issues of my own (see previous blog) - it was easier to leave it behind.
Anyhoo...sometime in 2008 I was presumably looking him up again to see how he was doing when I stumbled across the news about the reunion. I confess I wasn't that excited. Well, maybe "in denial" is more accurate.
I was like "Oh, that's nice. I hope it goes well," and "I'll probably buy the album, just for old times' sake."
I did not analyse my motivation too closely the night I played Summertime for the first time. I didn't have broadband in those days and I heard it in 4 second fragments and the whole song took the best part of an hour.
September 1st 2008 was the day it changed. I got up, put on the TV to a music video channel and squealed like I was 13 again! The kids came running "Mum! What's wrong?" they cried. All I could do was point at the TV and babble incoherently. I've been fairly incoherrent ever since...
An hour later I'd ordered the single, album and greatest hits CDs online. Three days later, driven half loopy by the wait I went into the local record store and got the single and a (different) compilation CD. I was in for a bit of a shock. The first track was one of my all-time favourites 'Cover Girl' but it was all wrong. Nearly 2 years on I still haven't found out where the "Video Version" comes from cos it's not on Hangin' Tough Live or the album or the single (7" or 12"). I know because I bought them all to double check! Answers in a tweet to @Heggie31 if you know...
So since then I've got broadband so I can watch New Kids videos on YouTube; signed up with iTunes to complete by back catalogue on MP3; got myself a PayPal account to watch the webcast last summer; learned to use ebay (oh dear) to replace what I can of my memorabilia collection (actually i have more stuff now than I did in my teens); learned to Tweet so I could get that all-imprortant Donnie Wahlberg follow (#686)...it's been an amazing ride and I wouldn't have missed a minute of it.
The friendships I have made, the wonderful people I have got to talk to all over the world - all because of New Kids. It has been a thoroughly enriching experience (and long may it continue). I am not reliving my youth. My youth was crap! This is so much better.
And the highlight of it all? 25th January 2009 - Hammersmith Apollo, London.
That I got to see New Kids again: Dream come true
That I got to see them in a theatre, like on Hangin' Tough Live, not some big ass arena: Dream come true
Fifth row balcony seats: OMG OMG OMG
NKOTB coming up to the balcony for 'Tonight': OMG OMG OMG!!!
Them coming past and reaching out to touch Donnie: How I didn't pass out on the spot I'll never know...
Getting my moment immortalised on the Coming Home DVD: *incoherent sounds of ecstasy*
Maybe I should be sad - because surely it can't get any better than this...but knowing New Kids it just might so I'm Hangin' Tough and I'll Be There until it's Officially Over. And even then...I'm a Blockhead for life, I won't be leaving my love for those five boys from Boston behind again.
I was a technophobe for the longest time and a few years ago (2006-ish?) I finally took the plunge and went on a course called "Computers for the Curious and Terrified"...practically the first thing I did on learning how to look stuff up on the internet was to search "Donnie Wahlberg".
According to my kids I had never even mentioned NKOTB. I can't believe that's true but I had put it away, not followed the guys' solo careers. When they split up it was painful, and I was having some major issues of my own (see previous blog) - it was easier to leave it behind.
Anyhoo...sometime in 2008 I was presumably looking him up again to see how he was doing when I stumbled across the news about the reunion. I confess I wasn't that excited. Well, maybe "in denial" is more accurate.
I was like "Oh, that's nice. I hope it goes well," and "I'll probably buy the album, just for old times' sake."
I did not analyse my motivation too closely the night I played Summertime for the first time. I didn't have broadband in those days and I heard it in 4 second fragments and the whole song took the best part of an hour.
September 1st 2008 was the day it changed. I got up, put on the TV to a music video channel and squealed like I was 13 again! The kids came running "Mum! What's wrong?" they cried. All I could do was point at the TV and babble incoherently. I've been fairly incoherrent ever since...
An hour later I'd ordered the single, album and greatest hits CDs online. Three days later, driven half loopy by the wait I went into the local record store and got the single and a (different) compilation CD. I was in for a bit of a shock. The first track was one of my all-time favourites 'Cover Girl' but it was all wrong. Nearly 2 years on I still haven't found out where the "Video Version" comes from cos it's not on Hangin' Tough Live or the album or the single (7" or 12"). I know because I bought them all to double check! Answers in a tweet to @Heggie31 if you know...
So since then I've got broadband so I can watch New Kids videos on YouTube; signed up with iTunes to complete by back catalogue on MP3; got myself a PayPal account to watch the webcast last summer; learned to use ebay (oh dear) to replace what I can of my memorabilia collection (actually i have more stuff now than I did in my teens); learned to Tweet so I could get that all-imprortant Donnie Wahlberg follow (#686)...it's been an amazing ride and I wouldn't have missed a minute of it.
The friendships I have made, the wonderful people I have got to talk to all over the world - all because of New Kids. It has been a thoroughly enriching experience (and long may it continue). I am not reliving my youth. My youth was crap! This is so much better.
And the highlight of it all? 25th January 2009 - Hammersmith Apollo, London.
That I got to see New Kids again: Dream come true
That I got to see them in a theatre, like on Hangin' Tough Live, not some big ass arena: Dream come true
Fifth row balcony seats: OMG OMG OMG
NKOTB coming up to the balcony for 'Tonight': OMG OMG OMG!!!
Them coming past and reaching out to touch Donnie: How I didn't pass out on the spot I'll never know...
Getting my moment immortalised on the Coming Home DVD: *incoherent sounds of ecstasy*
Maybe I should be sad - because surely it can't get any better than this...but knowing New Kids it just might so I'm Hangin' Tough and I'll Be There until it's Officially Over. And even then...I'm a Blockhead for life, I won't be leaving my love for those five boys from Boston behind again.
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