Epic March and an Awesome Anniversary

I am such a lazy blogger it's pathetic.  Anyway, a fair bit has been happening in the life of this humble Heg so let's get on with it...

Last month was pretty damn epic.  And exhausting!

On March 10th I got to see my darling Fearless Vampire Killers for the 5th time (in Bristol again).  The morning of the gig I hit the exact weight that indicated a 25% weight loss from my 1st time seeing them which was all kinds of important to me as it was the hideous first photo with Laurence (below, left) that triggered the whole thing off.  I was fortunate enough to get to mark the occasion with a new and finally acceptable photo (below, right) and, being the epic sweetheart he is, Laurence even said I was looking good!

April 13th 2013; July 17th 2013; March 10th 2014

The gig line up was Beyond Recall, Ashestoangels (who played How To Tell The Truth) and Fearless Vampire Killers so naturally I had an awesome time.  It was only myself and Erin though as Kathleen has become really paranoid about losing her 100% attendance record at school.

Less than a week later all three of us were off to Brixton to see All Time Low.  The night did not get off to an auspicious start.  We were standing and we made the humungous mistake of getting into the middle of the crowd.  I thought I was going to die.  It took the shine off my enjoyment of support acts Only Rivals and Tonight Alive (who I really rather liked) but at the start of ATL's set it got even worse and, elbows deployed, I got myself outta there post-haste!  Finding a far better spot to the far side I managed to calm down and get into the show.  ATL are fab and I ended up having a blast.

Because public transport is appalling nowadays and the National Rail Enquiry Service is CRAP getting home proved...interesting.  Here I am enjoying a midnight snack from Burger King whilst uncomfortably ensconced in the luggage rack of the last train from Paddington to Maidenhead:

On the way home from Reading the next day I bought myself an early birthday pressie from Build-A-Bear...his name is Pawrence and he's a lil playmate for Heggo Kitty...pictured here with the tickets for my upcoming 6th FVK gig! 

 A week after All Time Low was my 36th birthday...and I celebrated by getting on a plane without my mum for the first time ever (does this make me a real grown up?!).  We flew up to Glasgow for a single night...to see Fall Out Boy at the Hydro!  It was another incredible night.  New Politics were great; they had loads of energy and got a great crowd reaction... The Pretty Reckless somewhat less so.  Maybe TPR were good, I don't know.  Their sound didn't fit the line-up for one thing but they were also painfully loud although it was the excessive use of very bright strobe lighting that finished me off.  Fall Out Boy were fab as expected.  We had chips on the way back to the hotel and miniatures of single malt whisky as a nightcap to celebrate my flying visit to Scotland.

The next day we visited the Glasgow Necropolis and the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for a bit of local flavour and culture before flying back to Bristol where we had another night in a hotel, heading home insanely early.  Kathleen went to school but Erin had a cold so she took time off sick.  I'd booked a week's holiday which was a good thing as not only was I utterly shattered but I caught Erin's cold which became my 4th cough of the winter!

 April 14th 2013; April 14th 2014

On April 14th I marked the first anniversary of seeing FVK and meeting Laurence with a celebration of the most life-changing aspect of that event...  Above are our before and after photos; same outfits, same pose, 365 days apart.  Kathleen has gone from an 18-20 to a 14; Erin has gone from a 16-18 to a 14; I have gone from a 24 to an 18 (depending on sizes in different stores, obviously).

Modelling my old size 24 'skinny' jeans...

Note: a year ago I couldn't get into a 2XL band t-shirt comfortably; the FVK tee above is an L. Currently 75lbs down on my start weight.

"Look Ma, no hands!"

Kathleen (age 15) has been exhibiting super-strength for a while now - she could lift me BEFORE the weightloss...seriously disturbing...  The day was rounded off with the ceremonial burning of the outfit from my 1st FVK gig.  I'm keeping the humungous jeans for the giggles.

Working towards the end of my current Open University course (which I will be all kinds of happy to see the back of; gonna sign up for Philosophy next time!) and off to Cardiff this coming weekend...we're visiting the Doctor Who Experience and (surprise, surprise) seeing FVK yet again.

2013 Review

I totally don't blog enough.  Here we are, on the 4th of February 2014 for the love of all that is cheesecake, and I only just realised I didn't do a review of the year.

2013 was the year I stuck to my New Year's Resolutions for the first time ever.  I did art, mostly badly.  I fucked up my hair.  I am now vegetarian for the first time since I was 17.

But it was a landmark year in a gazillion ways.  I started going to gigs and found my motivation here...

...to finally do something about my hippopotamussyness.  So far as I'm concerned Laurence did it, not me.  I have loads of hideous photos of myself but none of them spurred me on to diet.  If this didn't exist (and if he hadn't been such a sweetie that April night in Oxford) it wouldn't have happened.  I closed 2013 having lost TWENTY PERCENT of my bodyweight.  And it's been EASY.  Taking the piss level easy!  Literally I think about food, then I think about the next time I'll see Fearless Vampire Killers...and that's that!

So here we have Heggie circa August 2011 and January 2014

Size 24 to size 18

2014 should be a cool year.  No FVK gigs to look forward to yet and I haven't had any time to paint as yet (stoopid uni course!) but I'm going to London to see All Time Low and to Glasgow to see Fall Out Boy next month which is gonna be all kinds of cool.  Erin has her first uni acceptances through and stuff is finally happening y'know?  Exciting times.

Cop Out

Yesterday I was packing some things away in the attic which is how there came to be a pile of old newspapers in my bedroom.  They were acquired newspapers so when a headline caught my eye as I was getting ready for work this morning I stopped to have a read.
The newspaper in question was The Daily Telegraph of Monday, September 9, 2013.  The headline read: Your test favours fat men over fit women, police told.
What it came down to was this; "ninety three per cent of men passed the test, despite half of all male candidates being overweight.  Just 60 per cent of women finished within the time limit, though only a third were overweight."
Well, first allow me to address the absurd assumption that fitness and weight are synonymous.  That.  Is.  Absurd.
I was first told I was overweight at the age of 11:

Yeah, cos I look so fat there...goodness, I'd kill to be anywhere near that skinny again!  Anyway, eventually I did get very heavy indeed hitting my all time worst in April this year and yet I'm fitter than you'd expect.
Five years ago I found myself, a morbidly obese asthmatic, comfortably able to out-swim a 'healthy weight' friend; two years ago my GP recommended I get less exercise as my 25,000 steps per day work pattern was ruining my feet; a year and a half ago I busted my right knee trying to beat my then thirteen year old daughter at limbo...  Muscle weighs more than fat and weight does not equal fitness.
But what really gets me about this article is the sexism.
Not from the allegations that "male officers gather around while the female recruits bounce and jiggle and run around, and they're wolf whistling and clapping" (if a police candidate of either gender can't hack a bit of harassment they have no business being in the job) but from the assumption that women deserve special treatment.
And I quote:

• It is "clearly" biased to expect women to finish within the same time as men
• The gates were not wide enough [for women], so men with slinky snake hips could weave through quite easily
• Women also made almost twice as many errors on the "body drag" task, which relies on upper body strength

What the fuck?!  Not so long ago women were fighting to prove themselves equal to men, to be allowed to do a 'man's job' and now some dumb-ass behavioural scientist (yes, I mean YOU Professor Craig Jackson) thinks women deserve extra time and modifications to tasks which are based on the job successful applicants will be required to do.  Excuse me?!  Is the real world going to give a female police officer more time to chase a suspect or provide more space between obstacles for her hips???  Of course not!
It's unfashionable to say so but men and women are NOT equal.  Women are not, on average, as strong or as fast as male counterparts...just look at the Olympic and world records for things such as 100m and weightlifting.  It's not the police fitness test that is inherently unfair but biology.
The test itself is called the Gender-Neutral Timed Obstacle Course (GeNTOC) and the clue is in the name...gender is not a factor in this test.  Gender should not be a factor in your ability to do your job either - the 60% of women who pass the test are equal to the 93% of men who pass as both can do the job they're training to do.

Just Checking In

It's been over a month since my last blog...not a lot has happened.  Good Lord but my life can be awfully dull.  Work - eat - sleep - tweet...and now paint.  That's about it really.
I am no longer Punk Panda on Twitter (the starting point for my last blog) but Hegwitch which amused me as a play on my name (my surname is Speller, geddit?!) and the concept of a Hedgewitch.  That's exciting isn't it?  I doubt I'll ever change my @ name.
However, one utterly thrilling thing has happened - Laurence Beveridge followed me on Twitter!!!  I'm too old and self conscious to fangirl here so I shall fanlady instead.  Altogether more dignified!  Still totally FVK obsessed obviously - I have tickets for three more gigs, the first of which is in six days time (*_*) then two on consecutive nights in September.  Should be fun!!!
I am half way through my Art Is The Weapon resolution for 2013 so time for a review perhaps?

All acrylic on canvas. My Little Killjoys (Jan) 8" x 20"; The Light Behind Your Eyes (Feb) 20" x 8"; FVK/Kerrang! Pandora Style (Mar) 24" x 24"; Laurence Beveridge (Apr) 30" x 24"; Kier Kemp (May) 16" x 12"; FVK Pokemon (Jun) 40" x 50"; Angel King Ruple (Jul) 16" x 20".  Plus of course there's a tonne of doodles including the tatdoodle I got in April and its sister tat that I'm getting inked next week.
Still veggie, still fucking up my hair...

I can't believe I've actually managed to make resolutions and stick to them!

The Parts Of A Heggie

Just over a week ago someone queried on Twitter:

"Part punk part panda part vampire? Just how many parts are there?"

To which I replied - Not entirely sure tbh. I am a complicated being (^_~)
Well, let's just say I've been thinking about this a bit and I thought I'd better write it out.

Part Punk Part Panda

This is in reference to my name on Twitter (not my @ name - that's @Heggie31; I'm HeggiePanda on Tumblr). I picked the name cos a) Punk - fucked up hair, piercings, tattoos and b) Panda - dark circles around eyes (which have mysteriously faded after 35 years...), cuddly, tendency to sit around eating. So those parts of me fit fairly well.

Part Vampire

The original tweet was about wanting the sun to come out and I said I was part vampire so I wasn't keen. As I am pasty to the point of sparkling in the sun and I've been known to burn even on overcast days this also seems reasonable. My eyes are also very sensitive to light which has caused no end of trouble getting eye injuries seen to at AandE...

Next let's consider my Twitter bio which reads:

FVK ;; ~ OU student ~ single mum of two teenage girl-beasties ~ 

got funky coloured hair ~ I cinderella at a castle

So other parts of me include:

• FVK fan (Lost Heart) - since January 2013
• University student - since April 2012
• Mother - since 1996 (so you know I am also female and of a certain minimum age - I'm 35 as it goes, I started early)
• Single - since I am so not telling you!
• Employee - you should be able to figure out what I do and where

Is there anything else?!  Well, yes actually...

My current Twitter header is a painting of mine so you might say I am an artist - in a purely for my own pleasure kind of way; I am an avid bookworm; I am a devoted farmer...on FarmVille that is (^_~); I am a daughter, a slob, a loner and heaven only knows what else.

Can anyone identify as only one thing?  You can stand in front of the mirror in the morning and say "I am a goth...that is me" but is that all you are?  Of course not!

I wear a bracelet with the phrase life is about creating yourself on it, as a reminder that I am not finished.  As long as I am alive I am capable of change, of reinventing myself, of discovering new parts of who I am - and that what I have been is not who I am or will become, just a part of the journey.  I decide who I am and who I will be.  Perhaps when I am gone there will be a definitive list of the parts of me, but I doubt it.  

Perhaps my kids will have "I was a Heggie...that was me" on my gravestone.

Fearless Vampire Killers: Bridgwater - 26th April 2013

Just over a week since FVK played Remedies Bar in Bridgwater so it's about time I wrote it up.

I didn't take any photos this time although I had the perfect opportunity to do so...I was stood pretty much in front of Drew which was nice cos I could barely see him at Oxford (^_^)...part of the problem was that I was feeling quite unwell.  I had been down with a stinking cold and a nasty cough all week and it was only at the last minute that I decided I was even well enough to go.  The other part of the problem was being in such a perfect spot...I'm used to being anonymous, hiding at the back somewhere and I felt so shaky being up close and personal I didn't fancy wrestling with a camera I still haven't had much practice with.

At my 1st concert back in 1991 I was about 1/2 way back in a crowd of 15,000; my 2nd concert was at a 5,000 capacity venue where I was up in the balcony.  I thought seeing FVK in Oxford two weeks earlier in a venue with a capacity of only a few hundred was small...but blimey! this was unexpected.  When very few people moved up to the stage at the start of FVK's set I felt obliged to physically move out of my comfort zone!

FVK were the 5th act on stage that night following Out For Tomorrow, Karl Ficarotta, Scout Killers and Ashestoangels.  I had to run off straight after FVK's set or I risked missing the last train home.  Taunton and Bridgwater aren't far apart but it's a fair old hike and I had work at 8am.  I would have liked to hang around but even if there had been later trains I didn't want to make the boys sick.  As it was I had a mad coughing fit during 'Palace In Flames' (sorry Laurence!) - most unbecoming.

The guys played a great set and I enjoyed it immensely although it was in some ways quite a difficult night.  It was the first time I've left my teens at home while I go out of town - thankfully they didn't murder each other or burn the house down.  In fact, it was the first time I'd been to a bar on my own in getting on for a decade and a half!  Not knowing anyone and being socially awkward it meant standing on my own for some three hours before FVK's set which is not the easiest thing in the world to do, but if that's what I have to do to see these guys then so be it.

To have them play so close to home and not to go would've been ridiculous.

Fearless Vampire Killers: Oxford - 14th April 2013

As it is now a week since our trip to Oxford it is certainly time to get off my backside (figuratively speaking as I am currently say at my computer) and write it up.

The decision to go was a simple enough one.  I may have been an FVK fan for all of 5 minutes but I really wanted to see them live.  There was no particular date on Fearless Vampire Killers' (FVK) Diamonds and Disgrace (D&D) Tour (at that point) that would be easier for us to get to than another.  The two April dates in Bristol didn't apply - the first being as a support act for the Misfits, the second being the first day of the Hit The Deck Festival.  Sorry, but I'm just not that fussed about other bands - I just want to see my boys so the D&D tour dates it had to be.  I picked Oxford because it's not so very far from my parents in Reading, it's a great place to visit and because it was a Sunday so I thought it'd be the most convenient for us.

Unfortunately, being a bit of an idiot I bought the tickets before I actually checked the train times and that was where it all became a bit more of an adventure...

So then I had to book a B&B for the night.  I won't go into how badly I cocked that up.  Let's just point out that I'd never done such a thing before and the chap had a really difficult accent and leave it there.  We got it all figured out in the end and we checked in okay in the end so no harm done, except to my pride.

My elder daughter Erin (17) was pretty excited about our trip as she's really into FVK too.  My younger daughter Kathleen (14) was less so because she is unbelievably weird and got very upset about having to miss school on the Monday.  And she wonders why she's such a misunderstood beastie...

Last Sunday we got all our bits and bobs together and headed out.  It was a pretty long journey - one of the Intercity trains to Reading that stops at every lamppost y'know?  The times I'd been given were all wrong and the journey took almost 2 hours longer than anticipated.  Then a regular train north to Oxford.  Looking out of the windows we realised just what a long and brutal winter it has been.  Here we are in mid April yet the fields are still waterlogged and the trees largely bare.

Arriving in Oxford we mooched through town getting our bearings and making our way to the B&B.  I haven't been to Oxford since I was a kid so it was essentially all new to me too.  We checked in okay and then collapsed in our room for a bit before getting into our outfits, sorting out our makeup and generally being quite girly.

Doors at the O2 Academy were 7pm and I reckon we got there to lurk a little after 6.  Not because we were mad keen to queue but because the anticipation was getting to us.  Erin was so keen to get in the queue that she sailed straight past lead guitarist Shane "Cyrus Barrone" Sumner - her favourite Fearless Vampire Killer - who was out front meeting fans.  I've been teasing her about that ever since!

We headed in and made our was to the merch stand for hoodies and wristbands all round.

There were three support acts: What Now?, The Reaper and Fort Hope.  Erin was quite taken with What Now? and later in the evening bought their CD and got it signed by two thirds of the band.  The Reaper were amazing - when a bunch of kids take to the stage you don't quite know what to expect but they rocked.  I bought their CD on the spot!

By the time Fort Hope came on we'd picked our positions for the evening.  Kathleen had decided to lurk near the backstage door which was the same side of the stage as bass guitarist Drew would be playing and had already managed to nab him for a photo.

Drew Woolnough & Kathleen

Erin and I were on the opposite side of the room cos she wanted to be in front of Barrone, I joined her at the start of Fort Hope's set cos my feet were killing me and there was some seating along the side.  It turned out to be an excellent spot.

When Barrone came on stage as part of the setting up the crowd gave him a "woooo!" and he looked up and gave the cutest grin, I can so see what Erin sees in him!  Luke meanwhile gave a royal wave - he's such a sweetie!

The show was great, our photos were less so given the lighting and hazy atmosphere.  That and the fact they bounce around the stage like dingbats...

Fearless Vampire Killers by Kathleen

For me the highlight had to be Fetish For The Finite cos it nearly killed me.  For some reason I can't find the YouTube video through Blogspot but this is the link if you're interested:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt16A1tFJLA

Two minutes in, at the beginning of the line "I can't stand another night" I swear Laurence is looking right at me...there weren't a lot of other candidates in that corner with a wall right behind.  I forgot how to breathe.  Then, on the line "knowing you're not mine", he stretched out and pointed my way.  I damn near fainted!

There is I'm afraid no denying now that I have a serious crush on Laurence Beveridge.  Poor boy.

Barrone & Erin

After the show we lurked around for autographs and photo opportunities.  Erin didn't miss Barrone this time...although she did walk straight past Kier completely oblivious!!!  I gave my Militia Of The Lost deluxe CD to Kathleen and she got it signed by Luke, Drew and Barrone but then insisted I got Kier & Laurence's autographs myself.  Unfortunately, while we were lurking close to Laurence the O2 Academy booted us all out for the 11pm curfew but Laurence & Kier being total darlings they came outside with us.

We got Kier's autographs and photos with him first and then lurked in Laurence's direction again.  Seriously, I was doing okay up to that point...  Then Laurence looks over at me and says something like "hey, you're Heggie, right?" and...and...and...well YOU try having a coherent thought left in your head when the rockstar you're waiting to meet for the first time recognises you and remembers your name from a grand total of 15 tweets he's sent you!!!

I honestly have very little idea what happened from that point.  I remember him pulling the lid off the gold paint pen and popping it between his lips when he signed my CD...  And he said something about it being great to meet me at last...it was a damn good thing he had his arm around me at that point!  I mean HONESTLY what the hell do you say to that even if what's left of your brain hasn't melted and leaked away???

Laurence & I

It was all topsy-turvy and I didn't have the slightest clue what to say but it was an amazing night.  I practically floated back to the B&B...whereupon I had a good cry as it all got to me!